From One To Two Under Two

Last week our second child, precious baby boy was born. Wow! What a life change. We had nine months to prepare but nothing but living the experience can prepare you for how different things are. I have to give credit to my wonderful husband who stood by and supported me through the up and downs of being pregnant while caring for a toddler. Especially in the last month when my energy was at a record low. He supported me in my decision to try for a vbac instead of an elective cesarean. He supported me when baby was being stubborn and we were into the 41rst week with no signs of labor and had to schedule a c-section. He was there by my side as the day came and we were in the hospital being prepped for the surgery and he was supportive when my doctor came in and told me I was in labor and we could switch back to the plan for a vaginal birth. The next nine hours he spent checking in on our older child who was with grandparents and by my side as I labored. Baby boy was sunnyside up and wedged in a unfavorable position. Pushing that little guy out took everything I had. If it wasn't for my husband there encouraging me and telling me I could do it when I said I couldn't I never would have been able to do it. He was my strength and focus. All together it was an incredible experience. There are no words for the emotion I felt when my brand new son was laid on my chest and gulped his first breath. We were able to come home just over 24 hours later and so begins our life with two kiddos under two. 

The first couple days were rough. Big sister just wanted to take her brother from us. (She loves babies) Her little self had a hard time understanding that she couldn't just have him and she was upset when she saw me holding him. Of course with a new baby our schedule was thrown off and all of mommy's attention isn't just on her anymore. Which I think honestly was harder on me than on her. That little girl is my world and between constantly nursing her brother and being super sore I felt like I couldn't give her the attention she deserved. By the beginning of the week we have gotten into an adjusted schedule which includes a new baby but still lots of time for her to spend with mom. 

Big sister is 17 months old and I feel like she is going through her terrible twos already. She is an amazing little girl but has so many big opinions, feelings, emotions and wants. Lying in bed last night I was praying and I realized that all to often we want them to hurry up and get bigger, get more words, behave, not throw fits, be reasonable, we want them to be more grown up than they are. I realized that I want to let her be little, soon enough she will be talking in full sentences, she will be able to tell us what she wants, she will follow rules and learn to listen. In the meantime I want to have patience with her and be her safe place to feel her emotions. To learn how to voice those into words instead of tears and fits. I don't want to get frustrated with her because she's acting like a little toddler. I want to help her to learn, grow and thrive. I want her to know that it's okay for feel and express her emotions and not learn like I did as a child to bottle everything inside. I want to teach her healthy ways to express her frustrations, anger and disappointment. So each morning when I wake up, while I'm lying in bed feeding her brother I pray for the day. I pray for patience that only God can give me to raise my two beautiful children. To nurture them with love and care and not frustration. 

Tonight as I sit here, my daughter is asleep in bed and my son is sleeping on my chest as I type. I know beyond doubt that I am the most blessed mama alive to be blessed with these two. Blessed to have the honor and pleasure of raising them, teaching them and leading them. The single most important job that I will ever have is right here inside my home. Someday they will be all grown up and face the world on their own. Someday they will live in this world without me, but the way that I raise them, teach them and love them will last forever. Through their lives and into the lives of their children. This next year and the years to come will be busy ones. They will have ups and downs and I know that I won't always get it all right. But I take faith in the fact that they will always know that their mom and dad did their best and loved them deeply. 

So here goes life with two littles... to all the moms out their with little kids. I see you. I see your effort, your struggle and the never ending, constant day to day tasks you do that go unnoticed. May we raise our children in the light and instruction of Christ. May they follow the path He sets out before them. Always remember that your children are a precious blessing bestowed upon you for only a short time, so let them be little. 

~KrissElise

She has such a big love for life.

Raising Little Christ Followers

I’m a first-time mom and I often sit and ponder how I am leading my little girl in God’s truth and righteousness. She’s just shy of four months, but she is growing fast. Even though she doesn’t understand what we do right now, we are setting the foundation for her life. She doesn’t understand what’s going on in the mornings when we read her Bible story and pray for our day, giving thanks and asking blessings and protection over her daddy. She just thinks I’m talking to her. When we dance to Jesus Bible songs she just loves the music and moving.  When we go to bed at night and read another Bible story… she doesn’t understand the words. But someday she will. It is setting the stage for when she is a little bit older and it gets me in the routine of getting in the word and praying with my daughter. My childhood mom and myself were never very close... but growing up one of the fondest memories I have with her is when I was about five or six years old and we would gather in our tiny little RV living room and we would read out of Psalms and sing Bible songs. I knew that someday I wanted to grow up and do that with my own kids. Now I have that chance, and I am blessed with an amazing husband who works very hard, so I can be a stay at home mom. He encourages, leads and pours into me so that I can do the same with our daughter.

When I mentioned to somebody about having Bible time with my baby girl they kind of laughed and said, “Who has time for that with a baby?” Yeah who am I kidding… when do I have time? The response I have come up with for myself is this… How can I not have time? Can I really go through life and be too busy to sit down and get in the word with my child? If I’m too busy now am I really going to have time as she gets older? I don’t want this to just be a phase. I don’t want it to only be something we do for a little while. I want to make the time as my child gets older, starts to understand. I want to be there when she has questions, heartaches, joys and struggles. I don’t want to be the mom who was too busy with work, dishes, housework, TV shows, washing laundry, friends, lists, shopping, whatever the case may be. I will have that to do the rest of my life. I only have a small window of time to lead my girl in truth and righteousness. There will be cleaning and housework to do until the day I die… but the light of Jesus that I invest in my child is something that will change lives. I already anticipate the day that she will see her sin for what it is, see Jesus for what He has done for her and ask him to be her Lord and Savior.

Is this post about somebody else? No. It’s only about me. Because sometimes I get so busy and caught up in my life and busyness that I am tempted to think that Bible time with my baby girl doesn’t matter all that much because after all she doesn’t understand. But I think Jesus has a soft spot for children. I think that Jesus would want little, itty bitty children to hear the stories of him and to be raised to know him. I realize every day how incredibly important and crucial my job as a mom is. If I do nothing else in life but lead my child towards Christ raising her with morals, values and knowing the great love of Jesus, I have lived a life well lived.

So, parents out there… I challenge you. No matter the age of your child, dig into the word with them, read Bible stories, pray with them. Lead them. And perhaps even more importantly is to find time to spend time with God yourself. Because that time with just you and God is what will help make you a good leader and good example to them. Children watch what we do with our lives, what we read, what we say, what we watch, what we do, even when we think they don’t see or aren’t paying attention. Raising our children to walk in the light of Christ, turning away from the darkness of worldly desires and attractions will be the single most important job we will have in life. We will never be perfect, but we can give it our all. Be encouraged and go raise Christ Followers.

~KrissElise

Tiny little feet that will someday follow in my footsteps.

I'm Just A Child

(Written through the eyes of my daughter)

I’m brand new to this world,

But I have something to say to you,

A plea of sorts from my little heart to yours,

Right now, all I know is love,

Mommy and Daddy fight all my battles,

They make all my decisions and tend to all my needs,

All I know is love and family who adores me,

One day though I’ll grow up,

We all know how that time goes way too quick,

I’ll find out about you… I’ll wonder where you are,

I won’t understand the turmoil, pain or fights,

Or why mommy and you don’t get along,

It will all be confusion in my young mind,

I will wonder if I mattered to you, why you never met me,

I won’t understand what kept you away,

Or even really know who you are,

That’s why today I’ll simply ask you this,

Remember, I’m just a child,

All I know is love,

I won’t understand why you aren’t here, why you never met me,

No matter how you try to explain it someday when I’m all grown up,

It will never be clear in my mind, I’ll always have questions,

I’ll always wonder where you were,

I don’t care who is wrong or who is right,

I’ll never know what happened ten years in the past,

I am your chance to start brand new,

Your chance to dig down and pull out the love you have,

I could be the start of a whole new world,

One in which we could all be near,

But I’m little and you are big,

You are the one who gets to decide the future,

Please remember, I’m just a child,

I’m your granddaughter, your niece, your family line,

I have your blood running through my veins,

I wonder if I have any of your features,

Or what we’d have in common,

I wonder what life would be like if the past was set aside,

But I’m just a child and it’s not for me to decide,

The future will play out as big people make choices,

Just remember, those choices affect me, and you…

Please think hard, don’t let more time slip by without me,

This is my plea to you, give me a chance, a chance to know you,
To love and be loved by you...

~KrissElise

"Officially" A Mom

As I sit here writing tonight I am holding my beautiful, almost two-week-old little girl. It's crazy to me how fast time flies. People keep asking me how it feels to be a mom now.. in my mind I've been a mom for the last 9+ months. From the first ecstatic moment that I found out we were expecting a baby, the first time I got to hear her heartbeat, the look on her daddy's face the first time we got to see her on an ultrasound, feeling her first movements, worrying, praying and watching her grow... to the moment that the doctor walked in the room and told me that in about an hour I would have my baby girl.... it has been the most amazing experience ever.  

I had planned for a natural birth but because of circumstances as I went into labor, the doctor thought it safest for both baby and myself that she come sooner rather than later. I had never been hospitalized before, never had any operations and initially the thought of having a C-section terrified me. But in the moment as I sought out God I felt a sense of peace wash over me. I had amazing doctors and nurses who immediately started all the preparations for surgery and my amazing husband there by my side. 

In the operation room I tried not to think about the fact that I couldn't move the lower half of my body, (Yes, I'm a little claustrophobic) I found it really strange that I couldn't feel myself breathe so it almost felt like I wasn't and the pain medication made me super nauseous. My husband sat right there though and was my focal point. I focused on his face, his eyes as he reassured me that I was doing great. It seemed like only minutes when I heard our baby's first cries. That moment.... there's nothing that can beat that. Seeing your perfect little angel after 9 long months... I cried. Her dad brought her over so I could touch her while they closed my incision. Afterwards, we were taken to a post operation room and our baby girl got some time with her daddy while I was attempting to recover from all the medication. That was the worst part of all. If you've never been super nauseous and vomiting constantly right after having your stomach muscles cut open you cannot imagine... they gave me some medicine to combat nausea and it sort of started working. I got to hold my baby girl and feed her for the first time. 

Right there, watching my newborn baby cling to me, seeing the adoration in my husband's eyes as he held my hand and kissed my forehead I felt completely unworthy. And that's the thing about life. I don't deserve any of this. The amazing life I have, the incredible husband, the beautiful daughter... and yet the Lord of all chose me, handpicked these blessings for me and gave them freely. I realize that being a mom and rasing my child and future children, bringing them up in the Lord will be the most important job I will ever have. 

Later that morning our families came up to visit and during the following couple days while baby and I remained in the hospital we had some friends up. One of the most repetitive questions I am asked is what it's like being a mom. I'm never quite sure how to respond to that as I have a million different emotions. Part of me is terrified that somehow I'll mess up, I'll fail her, but the other part of me feels incredibly grateful to be able to give my little girl all the love in the world. I will make mistakes as a parent but I will do my absolute best to let her know how absolutely adored she is and always will be. I feel so blessed to have a great man who will be and already is an amazing daddy and who has been by my side the entire time. I'm excited that my girl will get to know what it feels like to be close to her dad, loved and cherished. And also I think it will be healing. Opening up new doors and giving her all that I didn't have growing up. Knowing that I can create a safe and loving atmosphere for her to grow up in, to make mistakes, to succeed, to rise and fall, to leave and come back knowing that there's nothing she could ever do to separate her from the love in my heart. 

Being a mom is the best thing ever. I wouldn't change it for the world. The moment she took her first breathe my whole world changed in a way that I will never be able to explain with words. As my baby wakes up to eat for the ten millionth time today, I will leave you with this.... love your children. Love them, adore them, forgive them... because if you wait too long that chance will be gone. Read them a story, get down on the floor, take them to lunch, throw the baseball... spend time with them. Listen to them. Cherish them.

~KrissElise

And... Life Keeps Changing!

It's been a bit since I've blogged last, and since then our life has taken a new turn. We are expecting our first child in January! We couldn't be more excited to start our family! Thankfully in the terms of pregnancy, I have gotten by relatively easy so far. In two weeks we have our 17-week checkup and should be able to find out if we are welcoming a little boy or a little girl into the world. I have to say these last couple months have been a challenge and a growing experience. As for my husband, he has been incredible. I could not be more blessed to have such a patient, gentle, loving man walking through life and pregnancy with me. He's dealt with me crying for no reason (which he still doesn't understand) mood swings, fatigue, nausea and the list goes on with more gentleness and love than I could have ever expected. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the amazing father my child has even before he or she is born.


I've served in ministry in many ways, from cleaning the church, being a youth leader and going on mission trips overseas and now, I realize my greatest mission of all is just beginning. Teaching, leading and raising my children to be godly followers of Christ. It terrifies me and excites me all at once. In fact in church last Sunday I was overwhelmed to the point of tears when we were singing the hymn "Pour it Out" I've heard the song before but in that moment the depth of it really hit me.

"Oh the depths of Your mercy
That saves a wretch like me
And the waves of forgiveness
Your blood that covers me

Pour it out
Pour it out

Oh the weight of Your glory
That brings me to my knees
And the power of Your presence
That heals and sets me free

I will worship I will love You
I will lift You up
Give You honor praise and glory
I will pour it out"

It was kind of like seeing my life flash before my eyes, the depths of His mercy, the waves of His forgiveness, the weight of glory, the power of His presence.... all which set me free. I saw who I was as a teenager, one who was deemed hopeless. A victim of sexual assault, bitter at the world, a girl with a rough past, confused and alone, headed down the wrong path... my life should have spiraled downhill, but for mercy and grace. Jesus stepped in, he sent me guardian angels in the form of a family, to help me navigate through life and onto a better road. I only needed a taste of that... a taste of the love, freedom, grace, mercy, forgiveness... and it was water to a parched soul, like none other I'd ever tasted. This water promised life. A beautiful, thriving life. I set my eyes on that and never looked back.

I could have followed who people told me I was, I could have fallen into being a "victim", I could have stayed on the path I was on, let myself be defined by the past, by my mistakes, by the mistakes of my childhood parents. I could have followed any path, but for the strength in which I possess through Christ.... here I am.

Married to the man of my dreams, the man God chose for me years ago, living a full and thriving life, growing daily in my relationship with Christ. I am surrounded by family who loves me, and I'm preparing to welcome my child into this world. I am excited about life, the future, becoming a better wife and being a mom. My past, it has no hold over me, it does not define who I am or who I can become. Did it take me time and struggles to get her? Yes. But I am living proof that God can take a broken, shattered life and make it whole and beautiful. No matter how rough your past, how deep the pit, how broken and messed up you think you are, a life is never too far gone for God to redeem to recreate into a beautiful masterpiece.

I am overwhelmed, brought to my knees in humble gratitude, honor, and adoration for my Abba Father, for my Lord. He is my life, my every breath, I owe all to him. 

~Kriss Elise

Our beautiful baby at 12 weeks