This night would be a special one, none other could compare,
For on this night she’d meet the One who changed everything,
All had to be perfect, she’d meet Him there at eight,
Hours were spent in her room trying to find something to wear,
A quarter to eight she raced out the door,
Looking her best she slid into her new rental car,
There she drove to the nicest place in town,
Stopping just outside the door she paused,
Her hand resting on the door she closed her eyes,
She could not bear to enter, for inside sat the perfect One,
In a flood all the memories flashed through her mind,
All the things that she ever did wrong,
Every time she turned her back and ran from God,
The night when that drunk man stole her innocence,
All the times she hurt herself just to cope,
The failure, the worthlessness overcame her,
She slid down to the sidewalk sobbing,
Unworthy to enter His presence,
Then she heard the Father’s voice,
His hand gently touch her shoulder,
“My child, my child don’t cry” He said,
“Don’t you see the cross? My Son died for you and was raised,
The day you repented all your sins were gone.”
In a choking voice she replied,
“But you don’t understand,
I’m not perfect, I’m dirty and used,
I’ve been abandoned, broken and bruised,”
“My daughter,” His soft voice spoke,
He touched her face with His hands,
“I never wanted perfect, all I ever wanted was your heart,
I want you just as you are,
I bring the peace and healing to your life,
I’ll make you complete, just trust and follow me,”
She fell into His arms, thought she didn’t understand,
How one could love her so, she was scared,
But she found it to be the most special night of all,
For in that moment she knew she was loved,
And the daughter of the King,
~Kriss Elise Beckman
Saturday, June 27, 2015
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Are You Ready To Go?
The time is approaching quickly til I depart from my little hometown and board the plane bound for Uganda. Naturally as the time draws near I get a lot of questions. "Are you ready? Are you anxious? Are you scared?" Those are the type of questions I receive the most.
All my life I have struggled with anxiety issues. New situations, small talk, being where I don't know what is going to happen next, going out of my comfort zone, those are things that ramp my anxiety level up really high. Even something as small as having a joint church service with another family of believers makes my anxiety sky rocket. So naturally something like the fact that in 13 days my parents will leave me at Seattle airport to board my international flight to Uganda, which strips away everything I am used to and comfortable with to travel 8,000 miles by myself to a third world country, crossing many time zones, switching planes in London and getting picked up by a group of people that I will live with for a month who I have never met... that should send my anxiety through the roof.
But that's where God comes into the picture. In my own strength, trying to do it on my own I'd probably have already been in the hospital with a heart attack from panic. I've come to find out though that when we give it all to God, He is the one whom we find strength, peace and calmness. In Him we are bold, courageous and victorious.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:7
That is what I have in my life. I have no anxiety. I'm not even a little scared. I'm treasuring every moment I get to spend with my family because I know it's gonna be really hard to say goodbye for a month, it's gonna be hard to be away for a month but honestly I'm eager to get on that plane. My bags are almost packed, all the details are being finalized and I'm starting to long for the airport, the waiting, the tickets, boarding the flight, listening to the flight attendant go over the safety instructions, feeling the thrill as the airplane takes off and moves me closer with every minute to my dream, to fulfill my passion, my purpose, to do what God has sent me to do. I want to feel tired, exhausted and dirty at the end of the day of teaching the gospel to kids, walking the dusty streets, proclaiming the gospel message to those who haven't heard, to those hungry for the Word in a country that has already stolen a part of my heart. I want to fall asleep in a uncomfortable bunk bed knowing that my day was spent doing work that will have an eternal impact. Yes, I'm counting down the days, minutes and seconds til I leave. I have found my true belonging, my true mission, my deep down passion and it's for missions. Way out of my comfort zone. Way beyond anything I was ever told I would be capable of. Way farther than I ever imagined a poor small town girl would go. And I am ready and waiting.
I have come to realize it's quite a possibility that I will live my whole life paycheck to paycheck, that's okay by me, because I know, that I am blessed and rich in something bigger than this world, I am an ambassador for Christ and I'm gonna live out this life with abandon for Him, no regrets, I am looking forward to eternity. The cross before me, the world behind me, no turning back. No turning back. ~Kriss Beckman
All my life I have struggled with anxiety issues. New situations, small talk, being where I don't know what is going to happen next, going out of my comfort zone, those are things that ramp my anxiety level up really high. Even something as small as having a joint church service with another family of believers makes my anxiety sky rocket. So naturally something like the fact that in 13 days my parents will leave me at Seattle airport to board my international flight to Uganda, which strips away everything I am used to and comfortable with to travel 8,000 miles by myself to a third world country, crossing many time zones, switching planes in London and getting picked up by a group of people that I will live with for a month who I have never met... that should send my anxiety through the roof.
But that's where God comes into the picture. In my own strength, trying to do it on my own I'd probably have already been in the hospital with a heart attack from panic. I've come to find out though that when we give it all to God, He is the one whom we find strength, peace and calmness. In Him we are bold, courageous and victorious.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:7
That is what I have in my life. I have no anxiety. I'm not even a little scared. I'm treasuring every moment I get to spend with my family because I know it's gonna be really hard to say goodbye for a month, it's gonna be hard to be away for a month but honestly I'm eager to get on that plane. My bags are almost packed, all the details are being finalized and I'm starting to long for the airport, the waiting, the tickets, boarding the flight, listening to the flight attendant go over the safety instructions, feeling the thrill as the airplane takes off and moves me closer with every minute to my dream, to fulfill my passion, my purpose, to do what God has sent me to do. I want to feel tired, exhausted and dirty at the end of the day of teaching the gospel to kids, walking the dusty streets, proclaiming the gospel message to those who haven't heard, to those hungry for the Word in a country that has already stolen a part of my heart. I want to fall asleep in a uncomfortable bunk bed knowing that my day was spent doing work that will have an eternal impact. Yes, I'm counting down the days, minutes and seconds til I leave. I have found my true belonging, my true mission, my deep down passion and it's for missions. Way out of my comfort zone. Way beyond anything I was ever told I would be capable of. Way farther than I ever imagined a poor small town girl would go. And I am ready and waiting.
I have come to realize it's quite a possibility that I will live my whole life paycheck to paycheck, that's okay by me, because I know, that I am blessed and rich in something bigger than this world, I am an ambassador for Christ and I'm gonna live out this life with abandon for Him, no regrets, I am looking forward to eternity. The cross before me, the world behind me, no turning back. No turning back. ~Kriss Beckman
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