An Attempt To Debrief From Uganda

I know people have been wanting an update on how my trip to Uganda went. Especially those who supported me. I have not been ignoring you. In fact, I have sat down many, many times to try and put down in writing asummary of my trip. However, I have found that to be very difficult. Several people have asked me if it was worth it. Yes, it was. I am not completely sure what all God did through me over there but I know that it’s bigger than I can see. I also know that he is continually working in my life through what I experienced over there. One thing that is always impressed upon me when I go overseas is how small I am. Here in America we can easily begin to think we are something grand by how much we give to charity, that we show up to church on Sundays, how many programs we are in, what service we do, we gain value by titles, degrees, and careers. Our car, our relationship status, physical appearance, and how big our house is, are things that have come to define Americans. Often times we build ourselves up to the point where we rely on ourselves. Many of us are fix-it people. If somebody has a problem we are there to fix it. No matter how big or small. We don’t like to be helpless. We like to have solutions, answers, a magic way to make it all better. When we can't figure it out we often pull out our smartphone to ask Google or Siri and when that doesn’t work we can always find a YouTube video for it. Some of us still go into bookstores and you can find shelves after shelves of self-help books on how to fix every issue in life. If you don’t have an issue somebody can find one for you. 

We live in a society that tells women that they can do anything a man can do. Women who might get offended at that, suck it up. God didn’t create us to be just like a man. That would defeat the purpose of him making man and woman each with unique roles. Kids grow up with the idea that everyone is a winner, if nothing else you will get an award for participation at least. Because it wouldn’t be fair for everybody not to win. And your child? They can grow up to be anything they want to be. So your son decides to be a girl? Damn anybody who tries to stop him or suggest it’s wrong. Two women want to get married, who are you to judge them. We have become a nation that lives under the theme of “Do whatever makes you happy.” As a country we have thrown morals out the window and we cannot even completely fathom what it’s like invillages and  slums overseas where there is nobody there to defend you, stand up for you or protect you. Even if you are only a child.

So, what about when you go to a third world country? You've seen movies, you know what it’s like, you may have even gone once or twice but I have found nothing, nothing at all that prepares you for when you are sitting among the poorest slums in Uganda, in the grimy red dust littered with garbage holding a tiny child’s hand. A child that like hundreds of others in the nearby areas have been abused, raped, are orphans, kids who live in extreme poverty. Children that have no clean drinking water, no warm meals, no medical care, cannot go to school. Children that are starving, don’t have a warm place to sleep at night. In reality, these kids are invisible to the world. There I am kneeling before this child and asking God to bless this little life, to provide, to reach down and enter the life of a tiny child who has nothing but the hope I am sharing with them. Then you lay out in the grass at night looking at the thousands of stars in the universe and wondering what the point is. Wondering if it even matters. You feel completely and utterly helpless. 

That's when you realize how small you are, how insignificant you are. How you cannot change the world. You cannot change the lives of these children. And you realize that you don’t have to because God is bigger. You merely are a servant of Christ. He never told you that you had to fix everything. It’s not our job no matter how much we want to make it our job. So what changed? What impactwas made  on the country of Uganda by me being there five weeks? I don’t know. All I know is that every child’s hand I held and prayed for, every hug, every smile and laugh, every warm meal served, clean cup of water given, or story of Jesus told… a life was touched by the light and hope of God for eternity. How many lives were changed or impacted? I have no idea because all the work and glory is God’s alone. Many times he uses the ripple effect. One life is changedand that  person touches the life of somebody else and therefore starts a ripple of lots of lives changed.

I guess the biggest thing that I learned while over there is the importance of prayer. Here in America prayer is something we often only do when it is convenient or when we need something from God. In Uganda, especially the area where I was at, prayer is a necessity. That connection with God is vital for every day life. There is no magic fix. No perfect cure. Evil crawls at its purest form but as you walk down the street God’s angels are around you, keeping you from harm. You see prayers answered. Lives changed. You see miracles happen. But that’s a subject for another day.

All of that to say this… I have no clue how to relate all my experiences over there to all of you here in America. Honestly I don’t think it's something you can fully understand without experiencing it firsthand. Without being there, engaging all five of your senses. So maybe you got something out of this. Perhaps you didn’t but it was worth a shot. My brain is still all mixed up with the feelings and emotions of those five weeks. Some of the stuff I saw and experienced there was rough, dark, stuff we don’t see in our everyday America lives. On the other hand, it opens you up to realize how much of this stuff happens in our own states, our own cities and we just turn our face away from it because we want to live in our own little worlds without touchingthe harsh  reality of darkness.  

So without further ado this post will come to a close. If you have comments, questions…. Leave them below or message me and I will do my best to give you an answer.

~KrissElise

 

Can Submitting to Your Husband be a Blessing?

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. ~Ephesians 5:22-24

This section of scripture is one that has stirred up arguments and conflict throughout time. Now I will state here at the beginning that I’m not a theologian, I haven’t gone to Bible school, I’m young and not yet married. But I am a follower of Christ, my heart’s desire is to learn and to follow God’s commands with joy, and I have a wonderful, godly fiancé that I can’t wait to marry.

With that being said, I read through the second half of chapter five in the book of Ephesians. I have heard lots and lots of opinions on these verses and I have to say most of the time it’s coming from defensive women who feel that submitting to their husbands is a burden or makes them less than.

I have a little bit different outlook on it than most people my age or maybe most people in general. I read this section and it warms my heart. I don’t see this command as a burden or as a restriction on my life or rights. As I read through these verses I see security, foundation, love, guidance… I read down through verse 33.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Now given the fact that this passage is often used to abuse and control (From my past I know in great detail what it’s like with somebody who believes that) This passage says nothing of the sort to men about being the head over women to control them or to get them to do what they want. That’s the lie. I’m here to write about the truth. I think of my soon to be husband when I read this. He’s a godly man who strives to follow God in every area of his life. So because I have waited on the Lord and he has blessed me with a man who desires to follow Christ as I do, I see this section as security. Words in which I find comfort and joy.

From the very beginning I have looked to Travis as the leader in our relationship. It’s one of the greatest blessings that God has bestowed upon me. Giving me a man that lives out God’s command to him. To love me, cherish me and protect me. He is to me what Christ is to the church. Not a manipulator, controller or abuser but a hedge of protection, security and leader. He consults me on decisions that will affect the two of us but in the end he is the one who makes the decision that with his knowledge believes will be the best for our family. And I trust him as leader in all areas. That’s what works. Is it because we are special, or somehow it’s magical for us and we have something that others don’t? No, it works because we are following God’s commands and roles for our lives and he blesses that. Submitting to him means that we aren’t constantly fighting for that leadership place. It takes the burden off of me to try and fit into a role that I, as a woman was never designed for. It lets him fill the role that God did design for him as a man, to love, provide for, lead and protect.

I feel like I keep repeating myself trying to phrase this in lots of different ways to get my point across. It’s just that I feel a deep need in my heart to get this truth out there. With everything in society telling women to get out there, that they can do anything men can do, women’s rights, to be independent, that there’s no need to submit to their husband, that they can/should be the leader of the home. With all that crap out there I believe we need the voice of truth out there more than ever. For women young and old, but especially for the young like myself. In relationships and beginning marriages and families. Hearing everything that society drowns us with can sometimes overwhelm the small voice of truth. You don’t have to try and be like a man. It’s okay to let the men fill those roles. And it is absolutely perfectly okay for you to find joy and blessing in filling the role as a wife, submitting to your husband in the Lord. You will find greater joy in that than in anything the world is telling you. Trust me. It works.

I could write on this topic forever and probably will eventually write another post on it down the road after I’m married for a few years. But I don’t believe that my overall view on this will ever change. I’ve asked many women their input on this section as well. The ones that share the same view as me, that find joy in submitting to their husbands (even if they’ve struggled with it) are the ones that I see whose marriages have worked over the years. The ones who keep celebrating anniversaries and are deeply in love with each other and with the Lord. That’s what I want. And I believe that God intended that to be fully possible if we would only obey his commandments.

So I’ll leave you with this. Take time this week. Study this scripture, take time in the quiet to pray and open your heart up to God. Strip away the defenses you may want to put up and ask God to align your heart, wherever you may be to His good and perfect will. Pray for your significant other, husband, or if you are single for the husband God has in mind for you. Pray that he would seek to live out his part. That he would find joy in loving you and caring for you as you find joy in submitting to and respecting him. Lift your relationship to God and let him strengthen it. My fellow sisters, stay strong in the Lord and shine the truth.

~Kriss Elise

In The Moonlight With You

 

The wooden boat glides across the moonlit lake,

The water like glass reflects the stars in the midnight sky,

Soft waves slapping gently against the side

City lights but a twinkle as I head into the dark abyss,

This night, beautiful, crisp, unreal,

Only the moon to see the tears,

As they create rivers down my face,

Melancholy feeling floating through the air,

Wrapped up snug in his red blanket,

I close my eyes with the cold breeze in my face,

Suddenly, you are there,

Sitting across the other side of the boat,

In an instant I’m in your arms, one of your hands in my hair,

The other around my waist pulling me close to you,

I reach up and touch your face,

Our lips meet and oxygen ceases to exist,

Lost in the moment, drowning in your eyes,

Burying my face in your chest, I inhale your scent,

My fatigue subsides as your warmth envelopes me,

With gratitude I raise my eyes to the heavens,

Thankful to the Father for making you mine,

That’s when you take my hand, whisper so softly I can barely hear,

“Remember my dear, my love is promised to you for all our years”

The boat bumps up against the other shore, you disappear,

Once again, eight thousand miles between you and me,

Toes in the sand, blanket wrapped around my shoulders,

I look back out over the water, the night has gone dark,

But with your promise in my heart, salty tears on my face,

I know that we will be together soon, to have and to hold,

 ~Kriss Elise           Uganda, October 2016

Travel Life

Here I am sitting in Dubai airport. Going on hour 39 without having any real sleep so forgive me if nothing makes sense. However, I did want to give you all an update while I have plenty of time to do so. My last flight isn’t for another four hours.

I’ve been preparing for this trip for the last year and finally the day came. For the last week I’d been saying goodbyes and shedding tears. Trying to do so when nobody was around. I’d done this before and I could do it again. It’s not that I wasn’t excited about the trip. In fact I’ve been counting down the days for the past couple months. I can’t wait to step out of the airplane and feel the sweet Ugandan air welcome me. And I was rather proud of how well I held myself together that last week… until Wednesday night when It was the last one I’d spend with my Travis and his family. That’s when it started to hit me hard and Trav caught onto that. I sat on his lap feeling his strong, safe arms around me and I couldn’t stop the tears. How on earth was I going to spend five weeks without him. 8,000+ miles away? I left the house that night after hugs from everybody and I didn’t even try to stop the tears from flowing down my face. How lucky was I to have two families who made leaving so hard?

Tuesday morning I woke up at 5:00am after 4 hours of sleep, ready to start my journey. Having caught a virus that’s been going around I didn’t feel too great but was determined to stay positive. I got all ready, loaded my luggage in my rig and said goodbye to my own family. I hit the road for the next 20 miles to Lolo where Travis would drive me to the airport. Fighting off waves of nausea and a headache on top of trying not to bawl my eyes out we made it to the airport. Inside the airport I started to feel really bad, I’m not completely sure if it was from the virus or from the reality that this is the last time I’d see my fiancé for thirty seven days I’m not sure. Probably a mix of both. Being human I wondered why God would let me get sick right before a crazy long trip going to do His work. Again I was reminded that we aren’t always called to do the easy things. I made the goodbye quick because I knew the longer it was the more likely it would be for me to not let go. I hugged and kissed him one last time and forced myself to walk up to security half sobbing where the guy smiles at me and says “Where are you going to?” To which I respond “Uganda for a five week mission trip.” He smiles at me and says “Be careful, and make sure you come back home to him” I managed a “Yes sir” glanced back one more time and walked through to the other side. If you've never said goodbye to the love of your life you have no idea. Believe me. As mentally prepared as I was, I had no idea what it would be like. It's like your heart being ripped out of your chest, leaving a part of yourself behind. It's like no feeling I've ever felt. But I know, that it will make coming home that much sweeter.

A quick and easy flight took me to Seattle where I had a 5 hour layover before boarding my 14 hour flight to Dubai. Boarding my second flight I said goodbye to the US. The flight to Dubai was nice and easy, it wasn’t filled so I had a whole row to myself so I was able to stretch out and relax some. By the time I landed at DXB airport I was completely lost on the time and day. International travel does that to you when you have constant flights and are traveling through 11 time zones. I made it through customs, picked up my checked baggage which thankfully arrived safely and rechecked it to Entebbe. Now 13 hours til my next flight. Feeling the wear of travel, lack of sleep, sick and finding out that I couldn’t even check in for five more hours I was a little discouraged. I eventually found some food, medicine and a semi quiet spot to rest for awhile. I was able to chat with Travis via fb messenger. After being able to talk to him and spending some quiet time with God I don’t really feel better physically but I am more encouraged. 

Now in just over two hours I will board my last flight to Entebbe, Uganda. I am really looking forward to lying down in a bed and sleeping for awhile. Even more than that I am ready to see what God has in store for the me next five weeks. I am well aware that He will take me out of my comfort zone, make me uncomfortable and I’ll probably do some really hard things. But I am excited to see in what areas He has me grow and how I can serve in my beloved Uganda. I won’t lie, I know it will be challenging and I’ll get discouraged. I know that I’m gonna miss Travis like crazy (I already am) but my heart is open, willing and ready. Let’s get this show on the road.

Glory to God in the highest. ~KrissElise