Why I Can't Say No

When you step out to follow God... maybe it will be crazy. Maybe the places He takes you will appear irrational. The things He will ask you to do are incredibly hard. Stepping out of your comfort zone.. Maybe... people think you are going crazy. (I think I'm already crazy though) Thing is some people will question your judgment. Some people will think you are doing "too much" or going "overboard", "not thinking straight" Maybe they think it's messing up your life, risking your health, wasting finances... the list is endless. Sometimes for little moments sometimes I question if maybe I really am going insane. But then I close my eyes and picture this...

I'm standing there, way back in time.. Watching as my Jesus, is mocked, shamed, beaten, tortured. I watch as the crown of thorns is hammered onto his head, I watch as he is whipped and laid upon the cross. And those nails, pierced through His hands and feet for MY sin. And I'm standing there in front of Him while the blood pours out of His body for me. And then I get to look Him in the face, and give Him my answer. Yes I will go. Yes I will do. Or no I won't. You are asking too much of me. I think, if anything was too much, it's what Jesus endured on the cross so that we could be freed from our own sin. I think I have lost the ability to say no to my Savior, My God, the one whom owns my life.

I challenge you. If there is something in your life God asked or told you to do. Think about this. Close your eyes... tell the Jesus on the cross your answer. And follow through. It will be hard. It will be difficult. Sometimes you will want to give up. But remember what Jesus did for us, for me, for you. Remember that He never once gave up on us. Even when it cost his life. So I cannot possibly tell Him anything less then "My Father, I am Yours. My answer is yes to Your perfect will."
                                                                                                                                   ~Kriss

In The Potter's Hands

I'm sitting here this morning thinking back on life and how amazing God's plan is. As He in the right time brought somebody into my life who taught me, encouraged me, reprimanded me, loved me, who poured their life into me, so that I could teach others, encourage others, love others, pour my life into theirs, and it causes a chain reaction. As we pour our lives into others it advances the kingdom of God. What could be a better way to spend our lives? 

I am continually amazed and rejoice in how our mighty God is working in the lives of our kids at Bitterroot Family Fellowship and I am so blessed and honored to be a part of helping them grow. Nothing brings me greater joy then to see them giving their lives, piece by piece to God. Last night we worshiped the Lord together, the Bible lesson was about giving our lives to follow God. How we are the clay and He is the Potter and will we make the decision to give ourselves over to Him to mold us and make us into the ones He wants us to be. Giving up the things of the world for the things He has planned for us. Two of them were up front on their knees praying to Jesus, giving their lives to follow Him. This is what I brings joy to my heart, to see these kids desire God, to see their hearts set on fire. To see them set aside the things that they desire to make time for the Lord. One of them told me they feel God wants them to be a missionary. The other on is full of questions on how to share the gospel, how to follow God even more. Last night, God showed up in a very real way. We had a small group of kids but they all have a desire for Jesus. What a huge blessing it is that I have been able to teach God's word to them and help them grow.

Lord, for each one of these precious kids, I thank you for them, for their lives, for their desire for you God, I ask your guidance and protection upon them as they learn to follow you and become disciples for you. I thank you for what you have done in my life so that I could be here watching and helping them grow. For each one of them as they find their path in life, in the direction you want them to go, please guide me and the others in our church family to know how to help them and encourage them. They are our future Lord, they will be our Pastors, teachers and leaders. I pray that this week you show yourself to them even more. I pray that this week they will seek you like never before. Thank you my Jesus for paying the price of our sin with your life so we can spend eternity with the Father, thank you for your love, grace and mercy, watch over and bless these kids I pray, Amen

It Won't Always Be This Way

Little feet come running in the room,
He puts his sunshine bear in my lap,
Little arms reaching up for me,
Smiling I set my paperwork aside,
There are lots of things I need to do,
But for now they will have to wait,
Cause I know, I know,

His tiny hand won't always reach for mine
He won't always wanna snuggle on the couch,
I won't feel his baby breath on my cheek as he sleeps,
Someday his arms won't reach to be picked up,
And I won't feel his heart beat as he lies on my chest,

I pull him up into my arms,
Blanket and teddy bear in tow,
He snuggles in and closes his eyes,
Soon he is fast asleep,
If time stood still it's moments like this,
That I could stay in forever,
Cause I know, I know,

His tiny hand won't always reach for mine
He won't always wanna snuggle on the couch,
I won't feel his baby breath on my cheek as he sleeps,
 Someday his arms won't reach to be picked up,
And I won't feel his heart beat as he lies on my chest,

For a time I live in the moment,
And the whole world stands still,
As a little precious boy is sleeping,
I pray for God's blessing and protection,
That this little one will always be in His care,
Because I know time changes things,
And it won't always be this way.

One More Step Towards Africa

So I received my flight information today! I will be flying out of Seattle on July 9th and Lord willing I will return on the 6th of August. I am growing increasingly excited and passionate about going and what God will do in and thru me while I serve Him there. I will be serving with Rafiki Africa Ministries at their orphanage and among the nearby villages.

I know I have a long ways to be prepared this trip financially and mentally and having all the details worked out but I am eagerly looking forward to it. I know it's gonna be a long time away from home and family but I know when I am doing God's will, when I'm living out my passion for Him nothing else in this life could make me more content, happy and thrilled.

I cannot wait to see these sweet kiddos and wrap my arms them. I cannot wait to worship, teach, love on and spread the gospel in Uganda. Below are the sweet faces of some of the many children at the orphanage. More have been added since these pictures were taken. Love them already <3

God's Uganda Children

I have not been blogging much lately and hope to try to be better at it. So our BFF (Bitterroot Family Fellowship) kids made and decorated Christmas cards to send to the kids that I will be working with in Uganda. It was a special time to see God working in the hearts of our kids here for missions. It also brought me in for another reality check. Those kids, their faces, their names, the ones who those cards will be delivered to... they are the ones Lord willing I will be hugging, holding, teaching... in 6 months... it is soo real. There is nothing in the world, in all the time I have been alive that I have been more passionate about then teaching kids, loving kids, going to serve with kids, learn from kids, leading kids here at home and far away.. even when I am exhausted from long weeks and tired from the struggles in life this is what is really important, this is what fuels me, excites me, motivates me. It's the children of God. There is no other place that I would rather serve God then with the kiddos he has placed in my life.

I am excited for the new year and the changes it has. For all the new stuff that will come together with our BFF kiddos and how they will be able to connect more and learn more about kids in other places. Other children of God living in completely different culture and lifestyle. I ask prayers for these special kids and am in continuous prayer for them and their walk with God not just on Sundays but throughout the week as well.

And as I make all the preparations that will get me down to Uganda I ask prayers for that as well as for all the people I will be in contact with as I make the trip to Uganda and while I stay there. I should be getting my flight schedule within the next week or two. It looks like I will be gone about July 10th thru the first week in August. If you would like to make a financial donation it goes straight to the costs of helping me get there and be able to stay there for a month to serve as I will not be able to work during that time and will have expenses while there. You can do that at the link below. If you have any questions about my trip or what God is doing please feel free to message me. I encourage you to ask God where He wants you in life. Where He wants you to serve, whether it be at home or across the globe. I encourage you to be passionate and put your whole heart into it. May the glory be all to the Father, forever and always! ~Kriss


Hope for the Orphans! You Caring Fundraiser Site

What About Mama?

So quite a few times I've been asked the question, "You talk about your dad all the time. Are you just as close with your mom?"

My beautiful Mama

My answer is yes. Yes indeed. But I guess I find it a little bit harder to try and find words that truly describe my feelings, my love, the overwhelming emotions I feel for her. How do you describe somebody so beautiful,  loving, accepting, patient, humble... somebody who is there to listen, or cook your favorite meal, to be so patient as you learn to be loved, who can be gentle yet firm, whose arms are there to hold you when you need to cry, the one who would stay up in the night with you cause you are having nightmares and she doesn't want you to be alone. How do you describe somebody who would take in a troubled teenager and love her as her own child? Who would help her grow into a godly woman by teaching, loving and setting an example to follow... she's the one who has been such a big part of my growth in every way. And it's all the little moments that pass by during the day that are precious and dear to my heart that she doesn't even know about. It can be the kind touch of her hand or her mama bear side when she thinks somebody is messing with me. I hope someday I grow up to be just half the mom that she never had to be. And to express in words what she means to me would take more than all the words in the dictionary. I am so blessed to have her, God sure knew what He was doing when He made her a mama.



   

God Answers Prayers Even in the Most Desperate Times

So Monday morning at 5:00am we headed out to hike 11 miles to Ingomar Lake up Sawtooth Creek. Our plan was to camp at the lake Monday and Tuesday night and come back late Wednesday or early Thursday afternoon. We got a good start. Sawtooth trail was better maintained then we thought it would be. We made fairly good time considering we were carrying 40 lb backpacks. By the time we crossed the third creek crossing it was nearing 3:00. We took a break and pushed on the the spot another mile and a half or so up where we cut off trail crossed the creek and begun the several hour ascent up to what we thought was going to be Ingomar Lake. The downfall was worse than we thought. It took us awhile trying lots of different paths over the rough terrain, all the downed trees, rocks and bushes. Some places it was impossible to get through especially with our heavy packs that we had to move towards and alternate route. Josh was worried about getting too far right and missing the lake, I was worried about going too far left and running into dead fall that would be impossible to get through. We were pushing it to get to the top by dark. As we neared the top we realized we were not where we thought we were. Looking at the map we realized we were actually on the left side of the lake with a cliff in between us. We decided that the best thing would be to set up a makeshift camp where we were kind of at the top of the really steep stuff at a kind of flat area. We started a fire and set up our sleeping bags. We figured we'd stay the night there and in the morning we would head down around the west cliff and find the lake. That was about 7:45pm and it was completely dark by then. My stomach had started to hurt and I thought it was probably because I hadn't eaten enough to compensate for the calories I burned. So I ate some high calorie food and we sat by the fire for awhile, Josh cooked hamburgers and I tried to not focus on the pain. Around 9:30ish I decided I needed to take acetaminophen and try to sleep it off cause it was steadily getting worse. The next few hours I tossed and turned trying to lay in a position where it wouldn't hurt as much. Around 11:00 or 12:00 Josh asked if he should start a fire if maybe it would help if I sat up. I didn't know. He got up and started a fire and I decided I could take more pain killer but by the time he got it out of my pack the pain was so intense I was throwing up and knew it wouldn't help if I couldn't keep it down. Josh really started getting worried then and we sat for a little bit trying to decide whether it was more dangerous to try to head down through all that dead fall in the dark or to stay and do nothing. We decided we needed to try to head down the mountain. I sat by the fire while he packed up. He took some of the heavier items out of my pack and put them in his to make mine lighter. By the time we left camp it was 2:00 in the morning. It was really slow going because I needed to stop every ten feet or so because it hurt so much. I think we made it about 45 minutes before I laid down against a rock and was throwing up again. I told Josh I didn't think I could do this. He was really scared by then I could tell though he was trying to keep his cool. That's when we started playing our options out. Josh could go for search and rescue, but to get a signal to call out would be at least an hour and a half down through the dead fall and eight miles back down the trail. By the time search and rescue would be able to find me up there it might be too late. We had no idea how serious this was. So the decision we made at that point in time was to ditch a bunch of our gear so Josh could take both of our backpacks and see if we could make it down to the trail if I didn't have my pack. Where he could carry me out. We stayed at that place for a little bit while he figured out what we needed to take and what we could leave and I tried to catch my breath from the pain and get a little bit of energy to move. Josh asked me if there was anything I wanted. All I could think of is I wanted the pain to stop and I wanted Ken, I just wanted to feel my dad's arms around me one more time and feel like everything was gonna be okay. Neither of those could he give me though. At that point lying on that rock it hurt so bad and I felt so completely weak that the thought crossed my mind that dying would be okay because I didn't think we were gonna make it back and I just wanted the pain to stop. I asked Josh to give me my Bible which held a picture of Gavin I put in there the day before we left. I held it against me and thought about my family at home. At that moment I felt so overwhelmed with the power of their love for me that I knew we had to get out. We pushed on towards the cliff to the east knowing that if he needed to go out for help it would be easier to find me again if I was near there. We got into a rock field and went a little while across that. It was raining and it made the rocks slippery and twice as hard. I sat down on a rock and told Josh that I couldn't go further. We were both just sitting there crying out to God. Asking for His protection and mercy, for the pain to stop and to make it out alive. There was no way I could go farther. It would be hours before we even got down to the trail. The pain eased up a little while I was sitting there so we decided to put our sleeping bags under a tree and try to rest before moving on. I clutched the picture of Gavin close and lay there listening to the rain fall on the tarp over the top of us. I prayed until I fell asleep at some point. When we woke up the pain was gone. We continued down the mountain and had a fire at the trail to dry everything out and then headed the 10 miles out to the truck. When we got in cell service I called home and talked to Dale. Hearing a voice from home gave me the energy to go on the last five miles and I wanted to make sure they weren't worrying too much and knew that we were on our way out. I have never been so happy to see the truck as I was Tuesday night as we got to the trail head and it was turning dusk. We have not found out why I had the pain but I know God has His reasons. He protected us and answered our prayers. It's in times like that, when you are way out in the middle of nowhere, think you might be dying that God can show Himself most powerful. I am continually thankful that He got us out and was blessed to be in the arms of my family last night. Makes me want to never, ever take them for granted. And then while we were sitting around the kitchen table and I was telling them what happened Ken told me what was going on at home while I was out there...

"Monday evening (8 o'clock ish) I began to feel unsettled. Sometime between 9 and 9:30 pm Dale and I heard three loud knocks at the front door. Dale asked if we were expecting anyone. (Which is kind of interesting because it's not odd for somebody to show up at that time) I opened the door but no one was there. At the same time I had a very strong growth feeling that something was wrong and went downstairs and told Elli that we needed to pray. As we prayed the feeling slowly passed." ~Ken         

I was blown away by that. God told Ken to pray. Josh and I were praying. God answered our prayers. I don't know what happened up there or how life-threatening the situation was but I truly believe even more now that God answers prayers and that he provided protection for us. Maybe there is some reason we weren't supposed to get to the lake because before we left there were many people who expressed deep concern to me about us going and that isn't normal when we go out. And then we ended up in the wrong spot. Then when we thought we could get there the next morning I got the stomach pain. That's the only thing that would have kept us from continuing on. Either way. Whatever happened up there I know a couple things for sure. God is deeply involved in our lives. He is almighty and powerful. He cares for His children. And I am deeply loved. I see that now more than ever before. When we pray God works. I am just amazed by his presence and the way he works in our lives. May all glory and honor forever be His and His alone. Thank You God. ~Kriss

I held this picture the whole time. It gave me a reason to keep going.

 

This is what we were hiking in when we left the trail. This is what we were trying to come 

down through at 2:00am in the dark and snowy/rain.