Submitting With Joy

I want to share a struggle with all of you that my fiance and I had recently because I think others can learn from what I experienced. Today when I was talking to a young woman about life I used it as an example because it applies to many parts of life whether you are in a relationship or not. Therefore I decided to blog about it. 

There was a decision lately that my fiance made to go in a certain direction that he felt that God was leading him in ministry. Being the amazing man that he is, he brought it up with me and asked how I felt about it. We discussed it, agreed and life went on. However, I have a very hard time with change. I'd spent the last few years doing something a certain way and it was difficult for me to switch. Even though I knew that he was following God's leading, even though I wanted to follow his leadership, even though I believed what he wanted to do was a good thing. After a couple weeks went by I was upset about something else and we were talking when the subject came back up. Something during our discussion stood out to me. He reminded me of something I already knew but needed refreshed in my mind. He talked to me about how attitude is really important. How he felt like I was just present and wasn't wanting to be there or enjoying being part of what God was calling him to do. I'm a kind of emotional person and the conversation ended in tears on my part. But because I have an incredible man who supports and encourages me, instead of feeling bad and beating myself up about how I had handled things his gentleness drove me into prayer about the issue. 

After having some good "God time" I realized that there is a difference between doing something just because you know it's right and fear the consequences rather than submitting with joy. So I asked myself. Why am I not having a joyful heart? What is my heart motive? And while I pondered that I realized that I had a bad attitude because I was focused on me. So I began to ask myself, "how do I find joy in this?" For me, it was the simple realization that my deepest desire is to love and serve God and in turn love and serve my husband. My desire is to walk with him where God leads, help him and serve alongside him. So while he was at work I wrote him a letter. First apologizing for my wrong attitude. Second explaining why I felt the way I did and third telling him what my desire was. To serve with him, to follow where God leads with a joyful heart. I told him how much I loved him and how I looked forward to where God was leading us.

Now I know some will jump to conclusions, they will get all butt-hurt over the fact that I mention the words submission and obedience. They will worry that I'm just letting a guy make all the decisions and that I'm forced to follow. But before anybody gets that far let me say this, it was the most amazing feeling ever for him to read that letter, to come find me, talk to me, thank me and love me. It drew us closer together and closer to God. Now as we move forward in ministry we are of the same mind and heart and I can help him with joy, love and admiration as he leads. All because of the condition of my heart. 

So for you guys out there reading this... if you take away anything from this post let it be this... there will be times when the woman in your life isn't following your lead like she should be, there will be times that she's headed down a different path than you or disagrees with you. That's a given fact, give it enough time it's gonna happen. But when it does, you have two choices. You could pull the Bible out and tell her how she's a woman so she's supposed to be submitted to you and that she's wrong, dragging you down or affecting things in a negative way. Or you can come to her gently like Travis did. He had a conversation and said exactly what he thought, he told the truth for what it was. He told me how my attitude affected the ministry that God was leading him in. It affected the others involved and it affected his attitude. Yet all the while he was gentle, he was encouraging, he reminded me of how blessed he is to have me in his life, he hugged me, he told me he loved me. The first way, more than likely is going to grow the distance between the two of you. It's going to make things worse as she will probably react in opposition. The second way will hopefully draw you together, she will look up to you as you lead her gently, and love her all the while. 

For the women... you cannot control how your partner comes to you. A wise man once told me that the only thing you can control in a conversation is how you show up. That's very true and something I try to remember in life. Hopefully when there is an issue your man will come to you gently, with love and respect like mine did. However, either way, you get to control how you show up. You are not responsible for him, only for you. There will be times when your partner/husband comes to you to discuss an area where you are wrong. Please listen to what he says, affirm his place as the godly leader in your relationship. Let him know you hear what he is saying and let it drive you into prayer about it. Try your best to see where he is coming from. If he brought it up he must think it matters. When you are wrong, swallow your pride and ask for forgiveness. Find out your heart motive, find joy in service, obedience and submission. When you do, you will find like I have that it is a blessing and not a curse. 

For those of you not in a relationship, (and even those who are) what are areas currently in your life that you are living in obedience and submission but do not have joyful heart and attitude? How can you change that? Also remember like Colossians 4:6 says, "Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer each person." Proverbs 15:1 "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." There are many, many verses on how we should speak with grace, uplifting one another with our words. Speaking life. It makes a world of difference. 

I could and will spend the rest of my life talking about how incredible my man is. Not because he himself is good and worthy of praise but because he lets God work and live through him. Because every day he tries to be a better man. Because he realizes that he is unworthy of all that God has given him starting with the very breath he breathes. I am blessed to have him as my spiritual and life leader. I am honored to be his wife, submitted to him, loving him, serving him, and walking through life alongside him. It is the greatest blessing to be with him through the good, the rough and the indifferent. I hope something out of this touched your heart and will lead you to be a more godly man or woman. It's a journey, we won't get it perfect but as long as each day we are focusing on reflecting Christ better to those around us we will be getting somewhere. 

Remind your significant other how lucky you are to have them. Tell them how much you love them. Live the godly life and don't give up hope. Keep faith. 

In Christ, KrissElise

Fearlessly Loving

During the course of my life I've always been a risk taker. I've been the adventurous one. Even as a young child I wanted to climb highest in the tree, wanted to get the farthest out on the big branch overlooking the rushing creek, I always wanted to get to the top of everything, and as I got older it became a little more intense, and a little more risk taking. It would be getting to the peak of the mountain in record time, jumping into the ice cold lake and feeling the biting water touch my bare skin, climbing up the cliffs that reach into the sky, standing on a rock ledge looking down on little bitty trees, knowing that if you fall, there is nothing there to catch you. I got a rush from that. 

I was one who never liked rules, or boundaries. I felt boxed in, stuck in a cage. Each day daring to cross farther over the line, adventure farther into the wilderness of the unknown, but always returning to the box that was to keep me safe, nobody ever knowing how far I really wandered. Then there are people, there are relationships and love... that, I was no good at. I didn't take risks, in fact I preferred to hide. I'd much rather spend my time alone, lying on the roof gazing at the stars than I would to take the risk to love and be loved. I'd been hurt to much for that. I was perfectly okay with staying inside my comfortable little box when it came to love.

Slowly I learned how to love, I learned that it is okay to love, and to be loved. And over the years.... I've taken risks, I've realized what love is, I became okay with it.... until it came to that one guy.... then I went back into my box, content to let the world spin on without anybody ever knowing my true feelings. Especially him. Afraid of the unknown, afraid of not having control, afraid of rejection. Most of all, afraid that I'd hurt him, that I'd mess it up. 

And then there's that moment when your focus totally and radically changes. Because you realize that you might have cancer. There's the waiting, the doctor appointments, the praying and more waiting.  There's that night when you are out walking in the cool evening air, feeling the smooth concrete sidewalk beneath your bare feet, you are watching the sun set and turn the sky into shades of amber red. You see all the little things of life in a new way, with a new focus... his text tone plays on my phone and I can't help but let that smile light my face as my heart takes a little leap, and in that second I realize that I want him to know, everything... I want him to know me, I want him to know exactly how I feel about him, I want to love him, I want to take the risk to love fearlessly. Because I don't want to leave this world with never letting some of my most passionate feelings show. I don't want him to ever wonder how I really felt, or what I really thought. With love, there is always risk. But it's one I'm willing to take. Break down the walls, crush the fears, and see how good it can be. Sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zone, we need to free ourselves to love and to live. To embrace and to cherish.. where will I be in five years? I have no idea, but I'm not going to miss one moment of this beautiful, amazing, incredible, unique season of my life. 

So go out there and take risks, follow God's lead, love with abandon, cherish the little things, spend time with the people close to you, step across the line, cross all the boundaries, live a radical life because everything can change in an instant, live so that whenever you find yourself at the end, you can say these three things, I constantly strove to surrender and follow God with my entire being, I loved others without holding back, and I lived a full life, reveling in the blessings God poured over His precious child. 

~KrissElise