1,274 Days Of Waiting - Now He's Mine

On September 17th 2016 my sweetheart serenaded me with a song that he wrote especially for me, got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. I cried. (I also said yes) That day I realized in full reality that I had finally got what I waited 1,274 days for. And in that moment, every single moment I had waited for him was so worth it. Let me give you a little bit of history here about myself....

I was the kind of girl who grew up in a tough family situation. I learned early to be independent and to rely on myself. I also learned that it was best to be tough, shut off your feelings and protect yourself, because if you didn't nobody else would. I also was not impressed with guys. (and no, unlike many people thought I was never attracted to women either haha) I just wasn't into the dating game. I didn't want the drama. And honestly most guys frustrated me with their immaturity and lackadaisical approach to life. I'd also been hurt by guys in many different ways over the years and wasn't interested in getting in a relationship that would put me in a position where they had control. My friends and coworkers would always be talking about "cute guys" and "hot guys" and I was just like whatever. I could care less. 

Then came a special Friday in April 2013 that would change the direction of my life forever. Though at the time I had no clue. I went to the life group at my future adoptive parents house like I did every Friday. But today was different. There was a guy there. It would take me awhile to admit it to myself, and even longer to admit it to anybody else, but he was handsome. Not handsome like the "hot" movie character guys who all think they are something else, but like drop dead handsome. Without even having a clue. Like in a crowd of people he stands out from the rest. I'm not sure what it was about him... not only was he attractive but I felt drawn to him, to his personality... to something deeper. And to be honest... I hated it. I've gotten somewhat better now, but back then I was a major control freak. The fact that I couldn't control my feelings irritated me to no end. Yet I couldn't resist wanting to see him again, to get to know him better. To hear his voice, understand what made him tic. He was strong, capable, independent, he voiced his opinion, stood up for the truth he was compassionate, funny, and not to mention had the cutest smile ever. A part of me deep down inside knew from that day that I wanted him. And that feeling would be one to drive me crazy for years.

So fast forward... the next week we went out together, got to know each other some, we were both struggling with some life stuff, both busy with work and he grew distant. By then I had become fairly certain that God was telling me that this was the guy for me. I didn't know what else to do so I started praying. Little did I know that after three years, God would answer my prayer. Meanwhile many of the people close to me were worried because at 19, 20, 21 years of age, I was still showing no real outward interest in guys. Ninety-nine percent of my thoughts about Travis I kept to myself. People would think I was crazy and they did. Heck even I thought I was crazy. Over the years I was talked into going on several set up dates. I remember one...I don't even remember now who talked me into it, I think the guy's name was Justin, maybe it was Jason. Anyway, we met for lunch. He was sitting in the restaurant booth trying to keep conversation going and before we even got food ordered I told him the truth. I told him that there was another guy that I liked, that I wouldn't sit there and pretend to be interested in him when I couldn't get somebody else off of my mind. He understood, thanked me and we went our separate ways. Time went on... the few people who knew that I was hung up over some guy who didn't even really talk to me anymore were quite sure that I was insane. I wouldn't argue with that fact. Three years passed by and people started really getting on my nerves. I was going to a college age Bible study and I made the mistake of mentioning to somebody that one of the guys there was kind of attractive. Suddenly I was thrown into the drama of supposedly wanting a relationship with this guy that little known to me was the crush of many girls in town. I also had people pushing me to initiate a relationship with him. I tried to like him. I did my best thinking that maybe if I just liked him it would get people off my back. Next thing I knew I was hearing from a friend of a friend that I didn't show up to the girls Valentines night out because that guy wasn't going to be there. (Truth is I was sick with the flu) When I heard that, I swear I lost it. I was frustrated dealing with all this drama about a guy that I didn't really want anyway. I told them just that in words a little harsher than I probably should have. I told that person about this guy that I really wanted. The only one I really ever wanted. It was shortly after that I just started telling people that I was planning on staying single my whole life. Because if I couldn't have Travis I didn't want anybody else. When I talked to God I still felt like he was the one. Going out with any other guy seemed wrong. A few short months later, Easter of 2016 I get a text out of the blue from Travis. 

We got together, caught up on life and by our second date we were discussing where we saw our relationship going. I wasn't sure about it all. I mean this was what I'd been praying for just almost three years now, so I shouldn't have been surprised that God answered but... really? I kind of felt like I was in a dream. (Sort of still do) Like is this really happening? I had just decided that I was fine with being single for the rest of my life and then God is like "okay, now is a perfect time for Travis to come back into the picture." Spring turned into the best summer of my life as I dated and fell deeper and deeper in love with my best friend. Then he proposed to me... I left for Uganda three days later... we spent five incredibly hard weeks apart and then I came home to start planning our wedding. Where does that leave us now? That leaves me counting down the last month until I get to marry the most amazing guy on God's green earth. Has it all been sweet and easy? No. We've had our share of ups and downs, our struggles especially as we learn to deal with my past. There have been frustrations, tears, and stress but that is all insignificant compared to the joy, the love, the thrill of starting my life and seeing my future with my first, only and last love. 

I've been blessed to see many different areas of Travis's personality. I see him strong, confident, leader, 100% all guy. I see a handsome, cute, gorgeous man. I've also got to see the tenderness, the sensitive side. I've seen him stand his ground and argue his point with people. I've also got to experience the tender side when he's listening to every word I say and the ones I don't. I've felt the rough callouses on his hands from his manual labor job and I've also felt his tender touch on my face as he looks into my eyes. He thinks he's ordinary. He doesn't see what I see. But I know what an amazing guy he is, I know how blessed I am and I try to tell him so every single day. I got to fall in love with one guy. I got to give him everything I have. What are the chances of that? I get to marry the first and only guy I ever dated. I get to spend the rest of my life loving him. Giving him everything I have. I have to say I have been an emotional wreck the past few months and confuse the poor guy. Half of the time because I'm crying because I'm so happy. Because I'm so blessed. The other day we were talking and I was trying to hold the sobs back as I was overwhelmed with how lucky my kids will be to have a dad who is loving and affectionate to their mom. I could write a whole new post on that topic as it's something coming from my background that I will never take for granted. 

Anyway before this post gets too long I'll wrap up, I guess it turned into a post a little more on how we met and got to the point of being married but that's okay. I have the rest of my life to try and find words to describe how amazing my man is, and how absolutely lucky and blessed I am. I am so proud of the man he is, I am so proud to be his. I will never be thankful enough for God bringing him into my life, for putting us together and I cannot wait to continue this exciting journey with him! 

I will end with a little encouragement to all the single men and women out there. Find joy and peace in the waiting, don't rush it, don't feel like you have to settle for somebody because you are getting "old". The best thing you can do right now is to pray for your future spouse. Make a habit of it. And work on letting God mold you into a godly man or woman who will be ready when God brings the right one into your life. Waiting can be hard, frustrating, even heartbreaking, but I can testify from my own story that your wait will not be in vain. I believe God blesses those who trust in him and wait on his timing. My life is living proof of that. Not in my own strength but in God's. What I have now is so good because I learned to find joy in the waiting, I focused on molding myself to Christ's image and learning to be a good wife someday. I am far from it but each day I learn something new, I'm challenged in a new way and each day I grow a little closer to who I want to be. Stay strong, keep faith and don't lose your trust in God's plan. He knows what he's doing. He has a plan that is far better than yours. Until next time, God bless you as you seek and obey his will. 

In Christ, KrissElise