Hungry For God

As a leader and missionary I find myself constantly attempting to get others involved, trying to lead them into being God chasers. America as a whole struggles to get people committed to the body and to devoting their lives to following Christ. We are constantly searching for people who are hungry for God.

Here is something I read about a Pastor in America talking to an Ethiopian pastor who lived in horrible poverty. He said, “Brother, we pray for you in your poverty.” The humble Ethiopian turned  and said, “No, you don’t understand. We pray for you in your prosperity.”  Seeing the taken aback look on the American Pastor’s face he continued, “We pray for you Americans because it is much harder for you to live at the place God wants you to live in the midst of prosperity, than it is for us in the midst of our poverty.”

I think that is such a key point. Most people you meet are starving. They try to meet that desperate need with anything and everything. Now days we turn to alcohol, physics, parties, medication, programs, money, possessions, status, professional psychologists, social acceptance… the list goes on. We try to fill that emptiness inside with all the stuff that America has to offer. We come to church to check it off our list, to socialize, to meet the "religious" part of us, some even come to sit and be taught. But how many of us come just because we are God chasers? We are following Him, running towards Him, we go to church because we fully expect to meet personally with our almighty, all powerful God.

How many times do we come to church on Sundays and completely miss the presence of God only because we didn’t really expect to meet with Him? But maybe we don’t actually want to meet with Him. Do we even know when He shows up? When you go to “church” on Sunday is God going to be there in the building? If so what is He doing? What is He saying? Who is He talking to? What if He shows up to personally talk to you? One of the things that scares me the most is becoming so complacent that when He does show up we either miss Him, or He finds us comfortably tipped back in our church seat napping and when He asks us about the things He has sent us to do we will not have an answer because the list is crumpled up in the garbage can. I believe that no matter how hard we pray or ask God to work, He will not pour out His Spirit on those who do not hunger for Him.

Do we really want Jesus? Or do we just like the idea of Him? Do we just like the things He has to offer? Or do we want Him to completely ruin us for the world? Do we really want Jesus? Or do we just want to know about Him? What will it take for us to be overwhelmed by His presence? For us to fall on our knees and bow our faces in reverence to our almighty God? What will it take for us to break out of our self-induced, self-absorbed comas and start really living for the One whose blood spilled out upon Calvary’s Hill?

A couple months ago I was once again sitting at the table having a conversation with my dad when he said something that really struck me.  “The one thing that comforts me is knowing that whatever God tells you to do, you will do because you don’t know how to stop following God.”

He is right. Rewind about 9 years. It was a spring day, I was alone, terrified, depressed, and hopeless. That’s when I met Jesus. He was there all along, I can see Him when I look back on my younger years but I’d never let Him in. That day I realized that only He could fill the starving part of my soul. At the time I was still living with my birth family and I had no clue what to do about this whole “following God” thing or what a real relationship with Him was like. In fact it was a few years after that when I got to meet my adoptive dad that I really started learning about who Jesus is and who we are in Him. I suddenly found that everything I had been taught about God needed to be rearranged and redefined. 

Somewhere during all the long talks and late nights a fire was lit inside my soul, one that could not be quenched. During the short course of my lifetime I have been through many struggles. Many of the things that happened, the things I had to go through were not easy to overcome. Sometimes I still struggle with them. It’s not easy to make the decision to choose God over your family, to forgive the man who tried to rape you, forget all the voices telling you that you aren’t worth it, to find love in your heart for somebody after years of being abused, it’s not easy to miss out on your sisters growing up, or overcome depression, anxiety and self-destructive habits. It’s the hardest thing in the world to break addictions and the chains that Satan so tightly bound you with. But here’s the good part. We can choose to let those struggles make us bitter against God or we can choose to believe Romans 5:1-5

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

Thankfully, my struggles ended up driving me straight into the arms of my God. And sometime during the course of finding my place in God’s plan, finding Him through the struggles and the dark I came to the realization… (I think I first really realized it when God told me to go to Peru) I came to the realization that I cannot say no. I have continually found that I am unable to say no to God. There are times when I’ll argue with him, I’ll try to rationalize and dance around the point but in the end I find that I have no choice but to follow my God wherever He leads.

Has it been easy? No way. Is it always easy now? Nope. Is it worth it? Without doubt. Many people often ask me if I could go back and restart would I? They want to know what I’d change. I struggle to answer that sometimes but in the end it always comes down to the fact that I wouldn’t change a thing. Because if I took out the tragic, the trials, the struggles, the dark parts… if I took that out... my faith wouldn’t be as deep as it is, the fire wouldn’t be quite so consuming and I wouldn’t know Jesus’s love like I do now. 

I don’t wish my life from here on out to be easy either, because if my life runs smoothly with no struggles, no parts that make me question what God is doing that make me drive deeper into His Word, I’ll become complacent. That is my biggest fear. I never want to become lukewarm, I never want to lose passion, I never want to forget how great God’s mercy and grace are over me. So I welcome the struggles, the trials that are sure to come because they will require me to take my faith to a deeper level, to run to my Father’s open arms and trust Him with my life.

And in the end… when I have done all that I was commanded, I say, “I am an unworthy servant; I have only done what was my duty.” *Luke 17-10

~KrissElise

Just Another Story, Or A Life Changer?

One of the greatest lessons I learned in Uganda was from a three year old. He grabbed my heart and changed my life. 

In America it often seems that our lives revolve around complaining. 

Work: We complain about our boss, how we don't like the hours, about the customers, paperwork, paycheck, that our break was too short or that our coworker did this or that and we don't like it. 

School: I don't like the teachers or they don't like me. We get upset cause we can't text in class and the food wasn't good at lunch. There is constant drama and complaining about classmates and the bus was late. They gave me a tardy slip for being late to class and we complain, we don't pay attention in class and then are upset when our report cards have low grades.

Driving: My car is either too warm or too cold, there's a problem with every other driver out there, there's too much traffic, why are we stopped. What do you mean you pulled me over for speeding? Now you made me late for work. The road construction is taking too long and I don't know why they don't pave this bumpy road. While we are at it, gas should be cheaper too.

Church: Pastor preached too long, the chairs weren't comfy, the time isn't convenient and I have to drive ten whole minutes to get there. I didn't like what was taught. I don't want to commit, I don't have time or money to give and I just want to come when I want.

Starting to get the theme here? I won't even take you into people's homes or the rest of the areas of life. Let's just look at these complains above... they all pretty much sum up into this. 

I want my own way. If I don't get my own way I will stomp my feet and throw a fit. The world should revolve around me, the most important one is me, myself and I. If I don't like it, it shouldn't happen. Everybody should do what I want. When I want. How I want. 

Sadly this is so typical in America. We all fall into that mindset sometimes and in different areas of life. We are all guilty of doing this. Often without even realizing it. That's where Ivan comes in. 

I met Ivan in July when I served at the Rafiki Africa Children's Home in Uganda. He was the first child to greet me when I came downstairs on that first day. He ran up to me and wrapped his little arms around my leg saying "Auntie! Auntie!" Out of all the kids he stood out to me. He was a bright little guy. Always had a bright little smile plastered across his face that lit up the entire room. He was always ready for hugging and cuddling and loved to learn. His little eyes looked up at me with adoration and would constantly seek approval of his work as I helped teach him. It made me curious... why he was here... where his parents were... what his past was to make him such a ball of sunshine. 

This is what I learned.

I've been abused, I was abandoned, locked inside my house with my baby sister when my mother left. She never came back. We got sick, we were hungry and scared. Finally after what seemed like years our neighbors called the police. We were picked up and taken to the police station. Some people came and got us. The lady was nice. I don't have much to give but what I had I gave. A hug and a smile. We were taken to a home with other kids. My baby sister was really sick. She died. I've been here for a couple months now. I'm not sick anymore and I get to eat meals cause nice people provide them for me. I get to learn colors and the alphabet. I get to learn about God. In life you have to smile. You have to love unconditionally. And give lots of hugs. Life isn't about me. 

That's Ivan's life. He's just a tiny little kid and can't tell his story right now but I heard it from one of the social workers whom I asked. And that is how I imagine him telling the story in his eyes. I could not believe that such a little bright, sunny, happy kid came from such a dark and desperate place. It really challenged me. How many things in our lives, my life are so insignificant yet we spend so much time complaining. How many of the things in our past do we use as an excuse of why we can't move forward? Honestly if this little kid could go through the unspeakable things he did yet love so unconditionally, have such a bright smile and outlook on life... what does that say about us? Maybe we should stop focusing on us. Start looking outward. Stop complaining about the little insignificant things. Stop using the things in our past as reasons not to move forward, but to use those to drive us closer to God. Drive us into radical, crazy lives for Him. 

SO WHAT WILL YOU DO? 

Is this merely another story you read, another blog post that might make you feel emotion and move you yet once you close your browser nothing changes? I plead with you, let Ivan's story make a difference. Through His story God can change our lives, challenge us to eradicate selfish behaviors from our lives. But only if we let it. ~KrissElise

My Precious Ivan