An Attempt To Debrief From Uganda

I know people have been wanting an update on how my trip to Uganda went. Especially those who supported me. I have not been ignoring you. In fact, I have sat down many, many times to try and put down in writing asummary of my trip. However, I have found that to be very difficult. Several people have asked me if it was worth it. Yes, it was. I am not completely sure what all God did through me over there but I know that it’s bigger than I can see. I also know that he is continually working in my life through what I experienced over there. One thing that is always impressed upon me when I go overseas is how small I am. Here in America we can easily begin to think we are something grand by how much we give to charity, that we show up to church on Sundays, how many programs we are in, what service we do, we gain value by titles, degrees, and careers. Our car, our relationship status, physical appearance, and how big our house is, are things that have come to define Americans. Often times we build ourselves up to the point where we rely on ourselves. Many of us are fix-it people. If somebody has a problem we are there to fix it. No matter how big or small. We don’t like to be helpless. We like to have solutions, answers, a magic way to make it all better. When we can't figure it out we often pull out our smartphone to ask Google or Siri and when that doesn’t work we can always find a YouTube video for it. Some of us still go into bookstores and you can find shelves after shelves of self-help books on how to fix every issue in life. If you don’t have an issue somebody can find one for you. 

We live in a society that tells women that they can do anything a man can do. Women who might get offended at that, suck it up. God didn’t create us to be just like a man. That would defeat the purpose of him making man and woman each with unique roles. Kids grow up with the idea that everyone is a winner, if nothing else you will get an award for participation at least. Because it wouldn’t be fair for everybody not to win. And your child? They can grow up to be anything they want to be. So your son decides to be a girl? Damn anybody who tries to stop him or suggest it’s wrong. Two women want to get married, who are you to judge them. We have become a nation that lives under the theme of “Do whatever makes you happy.” As a country we have thrown morals out the window and we cannot even completely fathom what it’s like invillages and  slums overseas where there is nobody there to defend you, stand up for you or protect you. Even if you are only a child.

So, what about when you go to a third world country? You've seen movies, you know what it’s like, you may have even gone once or twice but I have found nothing, nothing at all that prepares you for when you are sitting among the poorest slums in Uganda, in the grimy red dust littered with garbage holding a tiny child’s hand. A child that like hundreds of others in the nearby areas have been abused, raped, are orphans, kids who live in extreme poverty. Children that have no clean drinking water, no warm meals, no medical care, cannot go to school. Children that are starving, don’t have a warm place to sleep at night. In reality, these kids are invisible to the world. There I am kneeling before this child and asking God to bless this little life, to provide, to reach down and enter the life of a tiny child who has nothing but the hope I am sharing with them. Then you lay out in the grass at night looking at the thousands of stars in the universe and wondering what the point is. Wondering if it even matters. You feel completely and utterly helpless. 

That's when you realize how small you are, how insignificant you are. How you cannot change the world. You cannot change the lives of these children. And you realize that you don’t have to because God is bigger. You merely are a servant of Christ. He never told you that you had to fix everything. It’s not our job no matter how much we want to make it our job. So what changed? What impactwas made  on the country of Uganda by me being there five weeks? I don’t know. All I know is that every child’s hand I held and prayed for, every hug, every smile and laugh, every warm meal served, clean cup of water given, or story of Jesus told… a life was touched by the light and hope of God for eternity. How many lives were changed or impacted? I have no idea because all the work and glory is God’s alone. Many times he uses the ripple effect. One life is changedand that  person touches the life of somebody else and therefore starts a ripple of lots of lives changed.

I guess the biggest thing that I learned while over there is the importance of prayer. Here in America prayer is something we often only do when it is convenient or when we need something from God. In Uganda, especially the area where I was at, prayer is a necessity. That connection with God is vital for every day life. There is no magic fix. No perfect cure. Evil crawls at its purest form but as you walk down the street God’s angels are around you, keeping you from harm. You see prayers answered. Lives changed. You see miracles happen. But that’s a subject for another day.

All of that to say this… I have no clue how to relate all my experiences over there to all of you here in America. Honestly I don’t think it's something you can fully understand without experiencing it firsthand. Without being there, engaging all five of your senses. So maybe you got something out of this. Perhaps you didn’t but it was worth a shot. My brain is still all mixed up with the feelings and emotions of those five weeks. Some of the stuff I saw and experienced there was rough, dark, stuff we don’t see in our everyday America lives. On the other hand, it opens you up to realize how much of this stuff happens in our own states, our own cities and we just turn our face away from it because we want to live in our own little worlds without touchingthe harsh  reality of darkness.  

So without further ado this post will come to a close. If you have comments, questions…. Leave them below or message me and I will do my best to give you an answer.

~KrissElise

 

My Last Week

So this is my last week here in Uganda, I return to the States next Thursday. These past three weeks have flown by. How do I even begin to write about it all? I’m working on putting together a presentation to show at my hometown church but am having a hard time trying to pack it all into something I can show in under an hour. I think this will be something that will take the next year for me to slowly blog about bit, by bit. People tend to think that international missions is some brave, heroic, glorious thing. For those who think that, let me tell you. It’s not. It’s just doing real life, living out faith. I will say though that it is the most fulfilling thing I have ever done, it gives me a sense of security, compassion and contentment as I know I am living within the calling God has placed on my heart.

I sit here this evening pondering my life, thinking once again upon the deep, dark, desperate place that my Savior rescued me from. Thinking back through the years of my childhood… I never would have imagined in my wildest dreams that someday I would be serving my God in Uganda and it feeling so right. I have fallen so in love with Africa. As much as I am excited and thrilled to go back home and be in the arms of my loved ones there is a part of me that is torn to leave my beautiful Africa and the friends and family I have made here. It does me well to know that Lord willing I will return very soon. The children here have stolen my heart… wrapped me around their tiny little fingers. I’ve become used to waking up to their laughter and hearing “Auntie! Auntie!” yelled a million times a day. I have come to know each one of their voices and gotten to know their personalities. Like any other children they have made me frustrated, brought me insurmountable joy, sent me to my knees in prayer for them, and crying out to God when I didn’t understand His plan. To see how far they have come, to see their joy and their love for God after what they have been through in life warms my soul. To see these kids overcome all the obstacles in their lives and still smile at the end of the day encourages and challenges me.

The thing about missions, is there is no pattern. There is no just outlining it how it is, no box that it fits neatly into. It’s chasing giggly kids around the house one moment and crying out to God the next with a broken heart because you have to let one of the children go. It’s when the little ones become so near and dear to your heart they become as your own but you are powerless to promise protection. It’s the high of laughter and time spent with friends and the impact of seeing death right before your eyes. The little village children calling out “Mzungu!” and waving with smiles from their little houses and seeing the desperation and poverty of the slums. One day, one, moment, one millisecond to another learning that everything changes, but no matter how hard, no matter how tragic that God is still present, all mighty, powerful, unchanging and good. That He is the same God in the lows that He is in the highs. Every day seems to take trusting God to a new level. There are times when it has been easy to praise and worship Him and nights crying out through tears asking Him if He is still in this, telling Him I don’t think I can do it, spending hours into the night on my knees in His presence, learning once again to praise and worship Him even when it hurts so much I can barely breathe, thanking Him though my heart is shattered and stepping into the peace that only He can bring though circumstances seem crushing. Giving the little children into His hands and trusting Him for their protection when I don’t feel like giving it to Him.

So I know this really has no specific subject and is all just kind of a bunch of jumbled thoughts but that’s kind of what you get right now. Over the next year I will have time to sit and sort it out. Write individual stories. But right now it’s just how it is in my mind. All mixed up. And next time there will be new stories to tell both the joyous and the heartbroken. But in all of them God working. Until my very last breath I pray to God that I will live out His mission, whether I’m in Uganda or back in the States that my life, every moment will be one glorifying the Father and spreading His name to all I come in contact with. Until every man, woman and child has heard His name! May all the glory be His forever and ever!

~Because they haven’t heard, Kriss Elise Beckman

My sweet, goofy, little Ivan

A Week Review In Uganda

A week ago yesterday I landed safely at the Entebbe airport in Uganda, East Africa. From the moment I stepped off of the plane and the warm, night air of Uganda hit my face it was a welcome home to that little part deep within my heart that already was claimed by Africa long ago. I was given a very warm welcome by Uncle Godfrey and Aunt Betty who were waiting to pick me up and take me to the Rafiki Children’s Home.

Entebbe Airport, Uganda!

 I keep writing, and erasing what I have written. How does somebody even begin to describe in words what this past week has been like? It’s a rollercoaster of ups and downs, joyous times and heartbreak. But no matter what the circumstance God is ever faithful and has granted protection upon our little ones. 

I am getting used to the routine of how things work here at the children’s home. When I arrived we had 17 children staying here. Many days are filled with the day to day things of bathing children, walking the older ones to school, teaching and playing with the children, washing the constant flow of dishes and piles of laundry. Devotions and worship time with the children, story time, helping with homework and getting kids to bed. There are always little brown feet running across the floor and little ones wrapping their arms around you wanting you to hold them. It’s only been a week and they have already stolen my heart. 

My heart has been captured by tiny brown hands <3

  

Many days I have went with different staff members outside the walls for various different jobs. Several days Uncle Godfrey, Aunt Florence (who acts as our social worker) and I went out to visit and do follow ups on some of the different kids we have placed in homes with relatives and provide care and school fees for as needed. 

Brenda and Esther with Aunt Florence

 On Thursday we received a call… families of the five kids in our temporary care were found. Yesterday morning we loaded them up and went to the police station to place the children. We were going with the assumption that these kids had been abducted from their parents by the cult. Turns out when we got there that many of the parents of these five (plus the other 35 kids who were rescued and placed in other care) are actually involved in the cult. After several hours four of our little ones were placed with a parent, we will be doing follow ups with those families to make sure that the kids are provided for and not returned to the cult. We were able to keep little Rebecca with us as we could not place her with her father who is a leader in the cult. (I will write a more detailed blog post on this topic later on)

Jennifer, Rebecca, Sharifa, Jimmy and Bright

 Yesterday evening we went and saw the new Rafiki land that was recently purchased and is being renovated. That will eventually be Rafiki’s new home and future. It was really exciting to see where the plans for Rafiki are going. (Will also write a more detailed blog post about the plans and future with the land)

Working on the Rafiki entrance at the new land.

So that is a little overview on my first week here in Uganda. I am more certain then ever that I need to return. Lord willing when I return to America I will begin fundraising for returning to Uganda, perhaps for a longer time. Part of my heart belonged to Africa before I even stepped onto the red Ugandan soil, but now that I’ve been here… its stealing my heart a little more every day. I will attempt to write some more detailed blog posts as I have time to try and show you all what it’s really like but there’s no way you could ever really know unless you come here, hold the kids, breathe the air, see the desperation, watch God do miracles. So if you are interested in coming with me when I return let me know. Rafiki will definitely need some volunteers when construction time comes over at the new land as well as any other time of the year. 

So until next time, please continue in prayer for all of us here, for the staff and especially for the kiddos. Some of these little ones have been through more things in their short few years than anybody should in a lifetime. Please pray for protection and love upon the four little ones we placed yesterday and in desperate prayer for our little Rebecca as her situation has become more complicated. We need God’s protection upon her precious little life.

All my love from Uganda, ~Kriss Elise Beckman