Getting Back Up Again

Here's a little snapshot on the past few months. I came home from Uganda just about two months ago. When I came home I was riding the high from seeing such hardcore christian life lived out. My four weeks there I saw life in a whole new way, I walked life so in tune with God. I spent hours on my knees at night talking to Him, praying, reading scripture and sitting in silence listening. I rode highs over there that matched up with the best days of my life, and I hit the hard stuff that hurt so bad it made me physically sick. I came home to America running on the high that comes when you are serving God with all that you have, when your whole focus is on Him and you aren't sidetracked by anything the world has to offer. After a few days I crashed and spiraled into depression mode. To be honest it has taken a couple months for me to come out of that. The transition from a third world country back to America is so hard. The feelings, emotions and frustrations are so hard to figure out in my own mind let alone try to explain to anybody else. Thankfully I have an amazing family. They have been so understanding and encouraging. They have been there to listen, to hold me as I cried, to remind me that things are going to be okay and to make me smile. They let me mope around and take the time I needed to just not do anything. To sleep, to run, to do my own thing. Always loving me and being there. They are truly God's blessing to me. 

Life will take us to the hard places, we will find ourselves in circumstances that are dark and we just want to go to bed and sleep all day. Satan will knock us down. The thing is will we stay down? Or are we going to get up and tell that sucker to get off our back? After eight or so week of feeling down, dragging myself out of bed every morning and just trying to get through each day I went and spent some time with God. I was on my knees again before Him crying out for Him and that's when I realized He was just waiting for that. He opened my eyes and I reached out for His hand, I let Him pull me up and vowed that the Devil may knock me down but I'm not out forever. It may be a little harder in America to find that wildfire. To get so deep in serving and glorifying God that the distractions of this temporary world fade away but I guarantee you it's not impossible. I have His strength, and with that I can do all things. If God is for me who can ever stop me? 

What I've found though, is that the deepest heart connection comes when we spend intimate time with God. When we set the world and business aside, go against the flow and make God first priority. Over EVERYTHING. When we praise and honor Him when we are on the mountain tops and when we praise Him when the storms come crashing in. We have to realize that He is still God. He is still good. He is still big. He is still in control. It brings us to such a deep peace and we grow even closer to our Father. So even though these past two months I've really struggled, God has showed me some amazing things and my faith walk is continuing to grow. 

So here's to you Satan, watch out. You can throw the world at me, you can take away everything, you can rock the world but you cannot shake my faith. You are not bigger than my God and you will not win. I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back. ~KrissElise