I have no idea where you are in life these days,
It's been years since I've caught a glimpse of you around town,
Even longer since I sat down at a table across from you and talked,
But tonight I sit here and remember all the memories,
Gosh they seem so long ago, like another life,
It feels like I'm living the memories that belong to someone else,
All the years we spent growing up together, inseparable,
A childhood full of memories,
All of my happy memories as a kid belong with you,
Even all the fights we had, the make ups,
Hours spent at night outside just because we didn't want to go in,
You were my best friend. You were my only friend.
There was nobody I really opened up to, nobody who knew my soul,
But you came the closest, you knew me deeper than anyone who lived,
From early on wherever I would be found, you weren't far away,
You were the one who I called when I was scared,
Brother you were the hero in my story,
Even in the hardest years of my life, my teens,
You were there, we played a fantasy life made of stories better than our own,
That was my greatest escape from reality,
Hiking and trapesing the mountain side,
Spending nights beneath the stars in the cold winter night,
Then something I never thought would happen, happened,
An invisible enemy ripped through our world and tore you away from me,
Out of my hands, out of my grasp, out of my life,
I still grieve that loss, I grieve that loss because you aren't gone,
You are still here, but you aren't mine,
I watch my children and I wonder what it would be like,
The joy and fun they would have with you in their life,
I think of the bond they would be creating with you if you were here,
How much they would love you, how they would take you back,
Five years old playing in the creek,
Part of me feels numb, unmoved, unfeeling,
But really it's just protecting the cracks that run through part of my life,
The part where you should be, the brother, the uncle, the adventurer,
You may never read this, it probably won't affect a thing,
But in case you ever wonder how I feel,
I miss you. I love you. I pray one day I'll hug you again this side of heaven,
I pray that my kids would have the chance to meet you,
To know you, to love you like I do,
Create memories that they would carry with them,
Pass down generations,
I pray one day those cracks would be restored,
Until then.... I pray that God watches over you, brings you peace and brings you back into my part of the world, over to my side of town.
~Kriss Elise
