I want to remember the desperation, the dark place I was in. Living in sin as an enemy of God. Doing things my own way, living my own life, with eternal destiny for hell. Yet for years I didn't know what a desperate condition I was in. How dark the darkness is when we perceive that darkness to be light. I fought God for a long time. I had a good picture of Him in my mind when I was little, He was the "Santa Claus" God up there in the sky. All my opinions of Him were destroyed when circumstances shattered my life. I hated Him because He didn't stop the bad things from happening. Because in my mind He wasn't doing what was right. Thirteen years of living in the desperate place of being separate from God. Living life to make me happy. Focused on me and what I wanted. It took me hitting rock bottom to look up and see God. I was so self-centered that I went through life wondering why He didn't do something, why He didn't care and only in the moment when I took the focus off me and looked up to Him did I realize that He was there all along reaching out His hand just waiting for me to reach up to grasp it. In that moment I realized who I was as a sinful, lost person apart from God and I knew I needed Him. I knew I had no choice but to grasp that hand. Giving Him my life.
I didn't know in that moment exactly what all that would mean. But I gave my entire life to Him, my everything. I never regret that decision and I never want to get over the moment of being saved. The moment when the all powerful God, the creator of the entire universe looked down on one broken, teenage girl and said "I choose YOU. Come and be my daughter." When the omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent God forgave my sins and gave me more than I can ever comprehend and all He wanted in exchange, was my heart, my soul and my life.
I never want to become so complacent that I forget or lessen the importance of what my God did for me. I don't want to become happy with my life, or living a life that pleases me in my human nature. I never want to stay in my comfort zone. I want a burning passion for Christ. I want to live this life with ONE focus. ONE goal. ONE mind. That is to bring glory to the Father and expand the eternal kingdom until the moment I breathe my last breathe and God calls me home. I want to burn with such a desire for Him that the world cannot distract me. Because in the end to hear the Father say, "Well done my good and faithful servant." Will be a life worth living. Any life lived for ourselves or the world is a waste of time.
I challenge you. Think back to the day of your salvation. Think of what God has done for you and follow Him with a selfless heart. Live for Him and I guarantee that you will find it is well worth it! Never get over being saved.
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