The Demons that Hide in the Dark

I'm sure we all have parts of our past that we would rather just forget. We push it aside and bury the memories sure that we can just move on and that it's "all behind us now" but then some little thing triggers your memory and the searing pain, guilt and shame return. I think we spend so much of our lives running and hiding from the past. Trying to suppress the memories and images in our minds that just come back to haunt us later.

As an example I think of painting a deck. If you are painting a deck because the paint on it is bad, ugly and all pealing off you can go the quick easy way and just cover it up with a new coat of paint. And for a time that deck will look nice and new on the outside. But sure enough as time goes on the old paint on the inside will start to ruin the paint on top. Your new coat of paint will be ruined by the old. Now if you take time to sand it down and get rid of the old pealing paint before applying the new then your deck will last. That's how it is in real life I think. We suppress the old memories by just painting over them with new ones. While on the outside everything looks nice on the inside the demons from the past run and play. But if we take the long, hard road of healing from those then the new will last.

Honestly in my life I have spent way more time suppressing the things I didn't want to remember and pushing them down then I have actually taking time to come to reality with them and heal from them. I'm beginning a study by Neil T. Anderson called The Bondage Breaker. Even reading through the first chapter... brought back so many memories. So many things I never wanted to remember. But instead of running this time I'm going to sit down and face them. I couldn't do it alone so two awesome people who I love very much are taking time to do the study with me.

A couple months ago I made a promise to my dad that I would stop running and hiding. And I am trying my best to keep that. I know some of you out there must relate to how hard it is to actually face all the fears of what is behind you. But as Dad always tells me the monsters inside don't seem so big when they are brought to the light. They live in the dark and when we bring them into the light and out of their secret hiding places we can begin to be freed from all the chains that hold us down. I cannot say what this journey holds at the end as I have never been down this road but I know it's gotta be better then leaving the demons in the dark.

And if no better reason to do so then for those who have invested time into my life, who have helped me, cried with me, loved me when I was unlovable, told us what we needed to hear but didn't want to, who have given up time and sleep for me, who have been there regardless of the stupid decisions I've made, who've stood by and watched me stumble because I refused advice, for the people who worry, who pray, who really, truly love me. And for my wonderful, mighty, Creator. I know He longs for us all to be free from the chains which bind us and hold us. But WE have to make the choice. WE have to take the first step.

Thanks to my Mama and Daddy who are always there. Who have promised to stay. I love you both more than words can say. I wouldn't be where I am at in life today without your dedication to my life. Thank you for leading me to a relationship with Jesus and walking with me.

~Kriss

Missionaries: Overseas vs. Here at Home

Somebody today asked me if I thought being missionaries within our own country and communities is just as important as missions overseas. So to answer their question I got to tell them a cool story.

Once upon a time in a little small town there lived a missionary. He was a faithful man of God, did his best to follow the Lord even when it wasn't easy. He served his family faithfully, his church family, and his community. He followed where God led which took him into the life of a teenage girl. This girl lived in his community but the two had never met until a Sunday when she visited church. She was a girl who was tired of people who didn't care. Worn down and kinda tired of life. She only went to church that Sunday because somebody kept bugging her to. Well that day God decided to work through a missionary who was faithful to God's calling in his own hometown. He walked over to that girl and gave her a hug, looked her in the eyes and said, "you know you are loved right?" In that moment God moved. Over the next 8 months or so God used that man who was on mission with God, in tune to God's calling and moved when God spoke. He started crossing their paths often. In the grocery store, around town, and a lot of times he'd come see her where she worked. Always an encouraging word, a touch of compassion, a sharing of the gospel. He'd often talk about how God was moving in his life and the lives of his wife and children. There was an energy about him, a light inside that he was willing to share. And he shared that light with a girl who was wandering in the dark. Because he shared Jesus in his community that girl was brought into having a relationship with God. Into having a faith walk with Christ. That girl, is now spreading the gospel in her community. That man of God has walked with her every step of the way through her journey into living out real faith and because of that... she went to Peru to share the gospel... she's going to Uganda to share the gospel.

Do I think missions overseas are more important or worthy? Absolutely not. Because that girl is me. And that man, he adopted me as a daughter. Because he chose to be a missionary in our community, I can be a missionary not only in our community but in other places as well as God sends to other nations. I think real ministry begins at home. From our home to our communities, and from our communities unto every nation.

Wherever you are as a missionary... I thank you. Keep sharing the gospel. Keep telling people about Jesus. Spread the good news wherever you go. Make a point to listen to God's calling. He may be telling you where to go or who to talk to, the question is are we too busy to hear? May the glory be all to God. His will be done, His kingdom come. ~Kriss

We Should Never Give Up In Freedom What They Would Never Give Up In Persecution

Here in America we don’t really know what persecution is like. We hear about it in other countries where people are persecuted for their faith but it’s not real to us. We don’t experience it on a day to day basis like some people in other countries do. We think that is a blessing. But what if it’s actually not?

Here in America as the statistics go there are a lot of “Christians”. You probably know lots of them. They show up to church on Sundays, sit in the pew, sing the songs, go out in life and try to be a good person leading a happy life. But what if we just have a lukewarm, watered down version of religion? Do we have so much freedom that we aren’t challenged? That we go through life lukewarm? That we don’t even really know what a real relationship with God is like?

Maybe that is what Satan wants. We in America as a whole are silenced. We don’t speak up for our faith, not like our brothers and sisters in other countries where there is persecution. Christianity in America doesn’t cause much of a stir. Why is that? Maybe because we aren’t living out real faith. What would happen if we started to live out real, true faith? Radical faith? What if persecution comes to America? What then? Will we stand up to our faith? Will we rejoice in the persecution because we know that in the suffering and trials the gospel word is being spread?

Like Paul said in the letter he wrote to the Philippians, “Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has actually resulted in the advance of the gospel, so that the whole imperial guard, and to everyone else, that my imprisonment is in the cause of Christ. Most of the brothers in the Lord have gained confidence from my imprisonment and dare even more to speak the message fearlessly. To be sure, some preach Christ out of envy and strife, but others out of good will. These do so out of love, knowing that I am appointed for the defense of the gospel; the others proclaim Christ out of rivalry, not sincerely, seeking to cause me anxiety in my imprisonment. What does it matter? Just that in every way, whether out of false motives or true, Christ is proclaimed. And in this I rejoice. Yes, and I will rejoice because I know this will lead to my deliverance through your prayers and help from the Spirit of Jesus Christ. My eager expectation and hope is that I will not be ashamed about anything, but that now as always, with all boldness, Christ will be highly honored in my body, whether by life or by death.”

  Paul was put in prison for his faith, he went through persecution. His faith, was incredible. I wish I had that kind of faith. That is what I strive for. This is the faith I want. Even if it brings persecution. Even if it brings troubles, and danger. If it is spreading the gospel and glorifying my God in heaven then that is what I desire.

As I’ve been going through life these past few weeks in my studies, in conversations, in the stuff I’m reading the topic of persecution keeps coming up. I think God is trying to show me something. And I’m starting to get little bits and pieces of it. So I apologize if this is a little mixed up. It’s just a few thoughts I had today. The below quote is on my wall and something I try to remember daily. It’s a quote out of the book Insanity Of God from one of our fellow believers in another country witnessing and spreading the gospel under persecution. Think on that. ~Kriss

Never Give Up In Freedom What We Would Never Give Up In Persecution. ~Insanity of God

Why I Can't Say No

When you step out to follow God... maybe it will be crazy. Maybe the places He takes you will appear irrational. The things He will ask you to do are incredibly hard. Stepping out of your comfort zone.. Maybe... people think you are going crazy. (I think I'm already crazy though) Thing is some people will question your judgment. Some people will think you are doing "too much" or going "overboard", "not thinking straight" Maybe they think it's messing up your life, risking your health, wasting finances... the list is endless. Sometimes for little moments sometimes I question if maybe I really am going insane. But then I close my eyes and picture this...

I'm standing there, way back in time.. Watching as my Jesus, is mocked, shamed, beaten, tortured. I watch as the crown of thorns is hammered onto his head, I watch as he is whipped and laid upon the cross. And those nails, pierced through His hands and feet for MY sin. And I'm standing there in front of Him while the blood pours out of His body for me. And then I get to look Him in the face, and give Him my answer. Yes I will go. Yes I will do. Or no I won't. You are asking too much of me. I think, if anything was too much, it's what Jesus endured on the cross so that we could be freed from our own sin. I think I have lost the ability to say no to my Savior, My God, the one whom owns my life.

I challenge you. If there is something in your life God asked or told you to do. Think about this. Close your eyes... tell the Jesus on the cross your answer. And follow through. It will be hard. It will be difficult. Sometimes you will want to give up. But remember what Jesus did for us, for me, for you. Remember that He never once gave up on us. Even when it cost his life. So I cannot possibly tell Him anything less then "My Father, I am Yours. My answer is yes to Your perfect will."
                                                                                                                                   ~Kriss

In The Potter's Hands

I'm sitting here this morning thinking back on life and how amazing God's plan is. As He in the right time brought somebody into my life who taught me, encouraged me, reprimanded me, loved me, who poured their life into me, so that I could teach others, encourage others, love others, pour my life into theirs, and it causes a chain reaction. As we pour our lives into others it advances the kingdom of God. What could be a better way to spend our lives? 

I am continually amazed and rejoice in how our mighty God is working in the lives of our kids at Bitterroot Family Fellowship and I am so blessed and honored to be a part of helping them grow. Nothing brings me greater joy then to see them giving their lives, piece by piece to God. Last night we worshiped the Lord together, the Bible lesson was about giving our lives to follow God. How we are the clay and He is the Potter and will we make the decision to give ourselves over to Him to mold us and make us into the ones He wants us to be. Giving up the things of the world for the things He has planned for us. Two of them were up front on their knees praying to Jesus, giving their lives to follow Him. This is what I brings joy to my heart, to see these kids desire God, to see their hearts set on fire. To see them set aside the things that they desire to make time for the Lord. One of them told me they feel God wants them to be a missionary. The other on is full of questions on how to share the gospel, how to follow God even more. Last night, God showed up in a very real way. We had a small group of kids but they all have a desire for Jesus. What a huge blessing it is that I have been able to teach God's word to them and help them grow.

Lord, for each one of these precious kids, I thank you for them, for their lives, for their desire for you God, I ask your guidance and protection upon them as they learn to follow you and become disciples for you. I thank you for what you have done in my life so that I could be here watching and helping them grow. For each one of them as they find their path in life, in the direction you want them to go, please guide me and the others in our church family to know how to help them and encourage them. They are our future Lord, they will be our Pastors, teachers and leaders. I pray that this week you show yourself to them even more. I pray that this week they will seek you like never before. Thank you my Jesus for paying the price of our sin with your life so we can spend eternity with the Father, thank you for your love, grace and mercy, watch over and bless these kids I pray, Amen

It Won't Always Be This Way

Little feet come running in the room,
He puts his sunshine bear in my lap,
Little arms reaching up for me,
Smiling I set my paperwork aside,
There are lots of things I need to do,
But for now they will have to wait,
Cause I know, I know,

His tiny hand won't always reach for mine
He won't always wanna snuggle on the couch,
I won't feel his baby breath on my cheek as he sleeps,
Someday his arms won't reach to be picked up,
And I won't feel his heart beat as he lies on my chest,

I pull him up into my arms,
Blanket and teddy bear in tow,
He snuggles in and closes his eyes,
Soon he is fast asleep,
If time stood still it's moments like this,
That I could stay in forever,
Cause I know, I know,

His tiny hand won't always reach for mine
He won't always wanna snuggle on the couch,
I won't feel his baby breath on my cheek as he sleeps,
 Someday his arms won't reach to be picked up,
And I won't feel his heart beat as he lies on my chest,

For a time I live in the moment,
And the whole world stands still,
As a little precious boy is sleeping,
I pray for God's blessing and protection,
That this little one will always be in His care,
Because I know time changes things,
And it won't always be this way.