From One To Two Under Two

Last week our second child, precious baby boy was born. Wow! What a life change. We had nine months to prepare but nothing but living the experience can prepare you for how different things are. I have to give credit to my wonderful husband who stood by and supported me through the up and downs of being pregnant while caring for a toddler. Especially in the last month when my energy was at a record low. He supported me in my decision to try for a vbac instead of an elective cesarean. He supported me when baby was being stubborn and we were into the 41rst week with no signs of labor and had to schedule a c-section. He was there by my side as the day came and we were in the hospital being prepped for the surgery and he was supportive when my doctor came in and told me I was in labor and we could switch back to the plan for a vaginal birth. The next nine hours he spent checking in on our older child who was with grandparents and by my side as I labored. Baby boy was sunnyside up and wedged in a unfavorable position. Pushing that little guy out took everything I had. If it wasn't for my husband there encouraging me and telling me I could do it when I said I couldn't I never would have been able to do it. He was my strength and focus. All together it was an incredible experience. There are no words for the emotion I felt when my brand new son was laid on my chest and gulped his first breath. We were able to come home just over 24 hours later and so begins our life with two kiddos under two. 

The first couple days were rough. Big sister just wanted to take her brother from us. (She loves babies) Her little self had a hard time understanding that she couldn't just have him and she was upset when she saw me holding him. Of course with a new baby our schedule was thrown off and all of mommy's attention isn't just on her anymore. Which I think honestly was harder on me than on her. That little girl is my world and between constantly nursing her brother and being super sore I felt like I couldn't give her the attention she deserved. By the beginning of the week we have gotten into an adjusted schedule which includes a new baby but still lots of time for her to spend with mom. 

Big sister is 17 months old and I feel like she is going through her terrible twos already. She is an amazing little girl but has so many big opinions, feelings, emotions and wants. Lying in bed last night I was praying and I realized that all to often we want them to hurry up and get bigger, get more words, behave, not throw fits, be reasonable, we want them to be more grown up than they are. I realized that I want to let her be little, soon enough she will be talking in full sentences, she will be able to tell us what she wants, she will follow rules and learn to listen. In the meantime I want to have patience with her and be her safe place to feel her emotions. To learn how to voice those into words instead of tears and fits. I don't want to get frustrated with her because she's acting like a little toddler. I want to help her to learn, grow and thrive. I want her to know that it's okay for feel and express her emotions and not learn like I did as a child to bottle everything inside. I want to teach her healthy ways to express her frustrations, anger and disappointment. So each morning when I wake up, while I'm lying in bed feeding her brother I pray for the day. I pray for patience that only God can give me to raise my two beautiful children. To nurture them with love and care and not frustration. 

Tonight as I sit here, my daughter is asleep in bed and my son is sleeping on my chest as I type. I know beyond doubt that I am the most blessed mama alive to be blessed with these two. Blessed to have the honor and pleasure of raising them, teaching them and leading them. The single most important job that I will ever have is right here inside my home. Someday they will be all grown up and face the world on their own. Someday they will live in this world without me, but the way that I raise them, teach them and love them will last forever. Through their lives and into the lives of their children. This next year and the years to come will be busy ones. They will have ups and downs and I know that I won't always get it all right. But I take faith in the fact that they will always know that their mom and dad did their best and loved them deeply. 

So here goes life with two littles... to all the moms out their with little kids. I see you. I see your effort, your struggle and the never ending, constant day to day tasks you do that go unnoticed. May we raise our children in the light and instruction of Christ. May they follow the path He sets out before them. Always remember that your children are a precious blessing bestowed upon you for only a short time, so let them be little. 

~KrissElise

She has such a big love for life.